an outward sign of the deep commitment to a relationship between
two people. The mistress and the slave, the master and the slave
or the dominant and the submissive.
signals this commitment to others as well as within the relationship
and should not be taken lightly. There are many types of collars
and even collars that signify the level of that commitment in
Particular communitys. Although there are varied Ideas as to
what a collar means, for some it is used simply as a tool for
sessions < Play> meaning for a time that person is in
service. For others it is a deep commitment not unlike a marriage.
are not confined to the physical collar around the slave's or
submissive's neck. Sometimes collars consist of waist chains,
ankle bracelets, piercing, tattoos and branding. the idea is
that there is an outward sign of ownership , and belonging.
Just as the styles of collars differ from the simple plain chain
link collar and padlock, to the ornate and highly decorated
collars made from either leather and/or metal. So to the meanings
differ from person to peron , but overall the idea is "
I belong to someone and they belong to me.
may be " given" a collar however, each collar is actually
belongs of the mistress/ master/ dominant, and is their property.
Upon release from the collar, it is customary and within formal
protocol and etiquette,for the submissive or the slave to place
the collar into the hands of the mistress, master or dominant
of whom they were collared by . Returning their property as
they are returned their freedom.
or submissive, should when released attempt immediately to return
the collar to that Owner master/ mistress/ dominant, that gave
them that symbol and only if all efforts fail, Or if the master/ect
chooses that they should hold on to it as a keepsake, then only
should the slave or submissive keep the collar.
the collar, against the wishes of the top/master/mistress is
a great disrespect to the formal customs, traditions and rules
of etiquette within the leather community perhaps more so then
disrespecting that dominant or owner. One of the changes in
" new leather" is that a top may wear a collar that
has no attachment points . As you shall see this is not the
form of the past, But each new generation makes their own rules.
communitys the collaring of a slave or submissive may entail
levels of collaring, just as there are levels of commitment.
Some formal stages of collaring are as follows:
Collar," signifies that the dominant and submissive are
exploring the possibility of continuing the relationship beyond
a casual level. This is usually seen in polyamourus houses ,
or houses that hold more than one submissive/slave. It is usually
a plain black collar with no attachment ring, and never a lock.
When a submissive
wears the "Application Collar " it is a sign that
this charge is applying to a particular house or dominant and
is " off the market" so to speak. It is a serious
breach of ediquitte for another dominant/master/mistess to "
chat up" a Sub/Slave in collar. This period of application
is critical and if a outside dominant interferes, it is considered
extremely rude. The top is possibly thought of as a "slave/submissive"
thief. Should either the dominant or submissive in the "Application
Collar " find that the relationship will not succeed, the
collar is returned and there is no "harm done." There
will be no fault found in either party. This is not a failure
of either party it just signals that there was no "magic"
to make a relationship work beyond the casual.
there will be emotions involved, it is not the higher emotions
and feelings of failure that may accompany the break up in a
master-slave dominant-submissive situation , the trauma is not
so severe because of the lack of higher commitment.
is usually again of plain or of a sturdy design. Made from leather,
but it can be made of chain. It contains an attachment point
to show that the subject is owned and " Attached"
to another. But does not lock.
is in the rank of "mid-level" of the relationship,
much like being "engaged." it shows that casual play
and exploring has past now, As the Submissive/Slave is moving
from the "application Collar," into the "Training
Collar," The training and the commitment and the bonding
begins at this level . This level is a committed level, yet
the level of commitment is not as Intence as "slave."
Often the "Training Collar," equals the Dominant and
submissive level. The training collar is also used when a dominant/
master gives his charge to another for a particular training.
Or in a situation where a dominant/master takes a charge under
his wing as a mentor or trainer until that charge finds their
" One and only"
Collar" is at times highly decorated and designed or of
simple design. Sometimes made by the master or mistress themselves,
and is usually only for that one slave. Either to be put aside,
destroyed ,or kept by the master/mistress or the slave as a
keepsake if there is a release. it is NEVER given to another.
is usually made of leather or metal, If Leather, black is formal
and the proper color but other colors are not frown apon, With
either brass or silver metals attached. It carrys an attachment
point and a lock. Often if chain the collar may have no clasp
or lock but would be a continous chain with no break.
The "Slave Collar," is usually presented in a private
ceremony with few guests or in public with guests, the words
of commitment and desire are verbalized and witnessed. The master
or mistress, then affix the collar on the slave's neck, and
much like a marriage ceremony continue into the highest level
of service. Many write their own " Vows" but some
ceremonies exist such as the D/S rose ceremony.
of "branding" is the placement of a pattern from a
heated iron, or sections of iron, similar to a cattle branding
iron, but due to the difference in skin, the brand usually has
to be done in sections. The brand is of course a permanent mark
burned into the skin. The brand is usually selected by the master
or mistress, created to adorn the slave's body. The brands are
usually found on the buttocks cheek, the thigh or inner thigh,
which is not easy to see in society. Some brands are very fancy,
some are plain and some are just a plain letter, to identify
It is stressed
by this author, that when masters and mistresses talk of branding,
the slave or submissive then give plenty of thought and time
into receiving one. And being that dominants should "know
better," wait for a few months before getting branded.
This is a deep and irreverable sign of commitment, it is impossible
to hand a brand back to an owner. Many times I have seen an
eager desire to have a brand on their body, being caught up
in the immediate emotions, but when time passes the relationship
crumbles and the slave or submissive wears the brand of what
was instead of what is.
The author suggests if the master or mistress wish to mark their
slave, use temporary tattoos, henna, or if a branding "scene"
is wished do so with wire and dry Ice to cool the metal. This
wears well for parties without damaging the skin permanently.
although it is a master's or Mmistress's final decision it is
suggested that the slave also participate in the choice of brand
as well. This mark will be worn forever and should only be left
to the MOST committed and permanant relationships.
has become quite popular these days . In BDSM Piercing is a
permanent puncture in the skin, in which jewelry is inserted
and worn as adornment and as a symbol and mark of Ownership.
The piercing can be anywhere on the body, such as nipples, labia,
clit hood, clit, penis head, testicle sack, nose, ears and tongues
and of course the standard ears.The piercing as a "mark"
or "symbol of Ownership," is selected by the Master
or Mistress and the jewelry is selected by that Owner and placed
into the piercing. Again, the author suggests that time and
caution be used in piercing. Although it is more socially accepted,
the marking of a slave's body involves their consent as well.
are a cutting of the skin, much like the one used in surgical
procedures, placing a design on the skin and using particular
techniques to prolong the design or make it permanent.. The
cutting is a scarification process, and much like a brand Most
cutting is a permanent mark showing ownership. Some light cutting
designs can and do fade with age but its not something to count
on as most people heal differently.
cutting does not involve burning of the skin, the lines of the
"cutting" are finer and well defined when properly
done. The pattern is usually selected by the Master or Mistress
as a symbol or mark of their ownership on that slave, again
the author stresses to take the time and not go with compulsive
emotions Further, the author stresses to go to a tattooist who
does cuttings or a medically trained person to cut the slave.
This way that person can instruct the slave in the proper care
of the cutting and keeping it from infection. Usually you should
care for a cutting the same way you care for a tattoo with a
few differences, Unlike a tattoo you may want to remove the
scab periodically to ensure that the scar shows better.
the cut is a faint mark, yet visible when naked. The design
can be of any shape, meaning or size.
that will draw blood, is known as "blood Play," and
is not allowed in most dungeons, public or private. Some "professional"
cutters use "cigar Ash" as an application onto the
fresh cutting to keep the cutting from healing. It is also Known
to use light inks and even grafite to add color to the cutting
so it shows better. These professionals should stress not to
use cigarette or pipe ash as they are not pure compounds. Most
cuttings will be found on the back, buttocks, chest, breasts,
belly or thighs.
collars and Body chains
is a visible sign of commitment much like a collar and may be
placed around the neck, waist or ankle or worn as a harness.
The ideal use of a chain collar or body collar is to finish
the chain with a lock or as a continous loop. things like chainmaille
collars can be finished in such a way as the connection cannot
be seen. regular link chain can be done with a Binding link
that either screws on or is closed with tools. Welding a chain
is not reccommended as the heat is a problem But it is not unknown
for this to be done. Gold is the easiest metel to do this with
Finer chain, much like a necklace chain, may be worn under the
clothes and is socially acceptable. Should the ankle be selected
as the site for a slave to wear a chain, the right side or right
ankle is proper. Left ankle signals dominant. This comes from
the root use of the hanky code and extends to the arms and ankles.
Ceremony" is usually conducted within the leather community
or in private. Try to do it in an accepted BDSM or D/s location.
Such as at an event or a dungeon. Most times though such ceremonies
are held in a private dungeon with selected guests. Since such
ceremony is much like a marriage, there is a "Master of
Ceremony" who performs this binding. The master/mistress
and slave exchange words and commitment. The attendants then
assist the slave and master/mistress and the master of Ceremony
in any way that is outlines , usually only watching and in congratualtion
but its not unknown for a slave to walk to each attendee and
If any person
has attended a wedding, the general picture is received, however
with a few differences. The dominant will be on the right while
the slave walks down the floor, and takes their position to
the left and kneels in the Formal Presentment Position. Depending
on where the ceremony is held, the participants may be wearing
fetish wear or not. The slave may be clothed or naked. The main
thing is to make the ceremony special between the celebrating
couple. Hand fasting is often used if one knows a person In
the pagan community to officiate.
It is perfectly
acceptable to collar in a quiet setting, private and between
the master/mistress and his/her slave, it is not necessary to
be public. The slave, being on their knees, may be allowed a
pillow to make it more comfortable. Should the slave have physical
problems kneeling, the slave may be allowed to stand When vows
are exchanged, the collar is then presented to the owner/ master/
mistress to be placed about the neck of their slave and then
locked into place. This signals the final stages of the ceremony.
collared slave then may be taken by the owner/ master or mistress
to a place and publicly whipped, reminding that slave that they
are slave and to be reminded of their humility. Or they may
be placed into bondage for a time to how they are no longer
free. Or they may be taken to a party much like a reception
and " presented" to the masters " house"
or community. There are also some cases where the slave serves
the guests and/or be flogged by the guests after the master
or mistress has flogged their newly collared slave.
slave be newly collared but in a private one on one situation,
Then the importance of the first public appearance of the Slave
cannot be stressed enough. The slave is expected to obey in
an immediate manner at all commands and tasks their master or
mistress gives them.
or mistress, when entering into a party or event with their
new slave should introduce to his/her host or hostess their
new slave and their name. The slave then must pay attention
to the details of how their owner addresses the other dominants
and their slaves or submissives. However, the slave should arrange
their use of words as not to address any one other than their
owner as master or mistress. And address their owner and others
if asked to speak to them in a formal manner by saying sir or
ma'am or madame. A slave should never use the title master or
mistress for anyone except their owner. The slave/submissive
should be familiar with the duties and positions and commands
that their owner wishes them to use in public as well as private
situations and maintain the formal and proper manners and etiquette
on all occasions.
thing the slave must understand that he/she is to be of service
and not the main attraction, even if it is their special day.
The master/mistress has the final say in all. And the slave
must understand that this does not mean that the slave is worthless
or has no choices, it simply means the final say is their owners.
Depending on the Master or Mistress, they will choose to uplift
the slave for that special day or not. This becomes a judgment
call and not anything else. This all should be discussed ahead
of time before any miscommunication or misunderstandings occur
during these ceremonial occasions or social functions within
the Leather Community.
all a slave or submissive in a collar can achieve a sense of
belonging with the right owner and experience a sense of commitment
not known many other places. collaring is a deeply serious,
beautiful and wonderful experience for all of those involved.
Master Wolf and Wolfhold 2000