by Unknown
One of the most discussed
subjects, when it comes to BDSM, is genital shaving. Go read any popular
discussion list or newsgroup - every so often the subject will pop up
again. There are many different ideas and opinions on shaving. In this
section we'll try to outline what can and cannot be done, and how to do
it safely and manageably.
The very basics
first
There are various techniques to temporarily or permanently remove pubic
hair. We'll describe all of them in this section, but let's start at the
very beginning. (Note: there's very little difference between the male
and female genital area when it comes to shaving, with one major exception:
shaving the male genital area is a lot more work and - especially when
doing it yourself - the risk of self-inflicted cuts is higher.)
For starters, let's
dispel a few urban legends:
When you shave your hair, it will grow back faster - Nope, the growth
process will neither speed up, nor will it slow down, it'll just grow
as it did before. And by the way, especially in the genital area, hair
breaks and is pulled out all the time as a result of friction. The follicles
(where the hair grows) can't see or feel if you shave. A hair - no matter
what commercials may try to tell you - is dead material. It doesn't feel,
it doesn't register anything and it doesn't keep records of previous treatment.
The fact of the matter is that as you grow older the body hair in some
areas may grow a little faster - and longer - but that's only the result
of redundant genetic encoding.
When you shave your
hair will become thicker - Also not true. Again, this may be the result
of the aging process (between 20 and 50).
Shaving creates ingrown
hairs - If this was true, the vast majority of men would spend half their
lives treating ingrown hair, since they shave every day. Ingrown hair
is the result of poor shaving (not close enough), poor maintenance (not
frequent enough) or regrowing it on purpose but with insufficient care.
Yes, you do need to care for pubic hair in the event you want to grow
it back.
Why is genital
shaving so popular in the BDSM Scene?
There are various reasons for the fact that genital shaving is probably
one of the most widespread habits in the BDSM community . In fact, in
some countries and areas, shaving a submissive is almost general custom.
First of all this: bear in mind that there are no general rules. You and
only you are the master of your own sexuality and as always: if you don't
want it, don't do it. And if you want to do it "differently"? Do it differently.
The main attraction
in shaving is the sense of vulnerability. The human skin - especially
in the genital area - suddenly becomes very soft and the feeling is totally
different. Plus: the view is totally different. Another main attraction
is the fact that to many submissives a shaven genital area is a secret
sign of submission. Both partners know about it, the sub feels it every
day, maintaining it is an act of submission and a powerful reminder, and
you can do it without anybody else knowing about it.
Quite a few people
do it for hygienic reasons. Especially if you have genital piercings shaving
the area is a very good idea.
Finally, to many people
there is the aspect of subtle humiliation. In ancient Egypt and Greece
prostitutes were obliged to shave, both for hygienic reasons and as a
clear signal of their profession.
A few things to
consider before shaving the genitals
Every body is different and hence all body hair is different. Some have
a lot, others have less, colours are different and growing characteristics
are different. What this means is that in your individual case things
may not always be as the general aspects described here. For example,
some people will grow their body hair back very fast, while, for others,
it will take a long time. For this reason, efforts to remove pubic hair
in a more permanent way may not be easy and sometimes even entirely impossible.
One thing is obvious though: unless you opt for permanent removal, shaving
is something that you will need to do regularly - sometimes even daily
- if you're planning to keep the surface smooth. As every 14 or 15 year
old boy knows: once you start to shave there is no turning back, unless
you're planning to grow a beard.
The other thing is
that you'll need to invest in special shaving equipment and care products.
What's suitable for other areas, such as face, legs or armpits, won't
always be suitable for the genital area. And that goes for both men and
women.
The basics for male
and female shaving are largely identical, we'll do the female part first.
Razor shaving
This option is very likely to set you up with a daily task. Of course
there are many reasons why such a task can be a lot of fun - but there
are a few other things to consider. What may be appealing now may not
be after three, four or five weeks. Especially people with online relationships
quickly get bored with a daily time consuming shaving task.
The first time
There is
of course the option to either self-shave or the dominant doing the first
shave. No matter what your choice will be, the technical stuff is identical:
Step one: Don't
even try to remove pubic hair with just a razor. You need to clip it
first, using a pair of sharp scissors. Make sure you remove as much
hair as possible with the scissors. If you don't you won't be shaving
but only pulling out the longer hairs during the actual shaving, which
is painful and quickly blunts your razor. That again will make the shaving
process more painful and less effective.
Step Two: After the hair has been cropped as much as possible you need
to prepare for shaving. In order to both achieve a very close shave
- i.e. a smooth surface - and prevent pimples and irritated skin later,
you'll do well to prepare yourself before you shave. The best idea -
if you have a tub - is to take a long hot bath now and make sure the
area - and the hair - is soft and smooth. Your next best option is a
hot shower with a lot of attention for the soon-to-be shaved area. The
more water you use, the better. After bathing or showering, dry yourself,
including the area and wait a few minutes in order to allow the skin
to recuperate a bit.
Step Three: the actual shaving. GENEROUSLY apply shaving cream. Forget
about all of the male shaving creams. If you cannot find specialized
creams for female shaving (there are lots of them available for almost
all skin types) resort to the mildest - non-perfumed - male variety.
Don't even try just using soap (as is customary in many medical environments.
It is a totally unsuitable method for genital shaving). As you can see,
you need to prepare - and probably do some dedicated shopping prior
to the first shave. That goes for the razor you're planning to use as
well. Warning: appealing or not, the old fashioned switch-blade razor
is totally unsuitable for genital shaving and in fact dangerous. The
same goes for disposable razors. What you need is safety razor, designed
for female use. The Wilkinson Sword female razor is your best choice
by miles. Not only is the design tailored to the curves on the female
body (and the grip tailored to use in a "wet" environment since female
shaving always requires a lot more water than the male - facial - shaving
process), also the blades itself are protected by thin steel wires,
which will make it next to impossible to cut yourself. Pull the skin
straight with your free hand and shave without applying pressure. Move
the razor slowly over the skin, preferably in the counter-direction
of the hair. Just one pass probably will not do the trick. You may want
to shave the same area two or three times before it is totally smooth.
Keep applying shaving cream, as much as you can and have some alum readily
available, just in case you draw a little blood.
Step Four: When the shaving is done again wash generously with a lot
of warm water. Make sure you wash all the hair and soap away.
Step Five: No you're not there yet - you need aftercare. Soft baby oil
will do wonders if you want to keep your skin smooth and soft and prevent
pimples from coming up. If you have tender skin, aloe vera cream (preferably
with Vitamin E added to it) or a dedicated aftercare product (for women
- male aftershave usually bites terribly and will only make things worse).
Once shaved, make it habit to protect your now shaven mons and labia
(outside) with creams or baby oil. NOTE: If you're planning to have
sex and need to use a condom to protect yourself, you will now need
to protect the condom. The oil used in the genital area will make the
rubber deteriorate and hence unreliable, so you need to wash prior to
having sex.
Maintenance
Once shaven you'll do yourself a big favor by making it a habit to shave
daily. That way maintenance will be easy and a relatively simple job.
It's entirely possible that your skin will need to adjust to the regular
shaving and the area may be irritated for awhile. Once accustomed, the
skin will adapt to the "abuse" and the irritation will go away. Use creams
or oil daily and always be generous with water and shaving cream.
Oh, before we forget:
your LadyShave or a male electric razor are NOT suitable for use in the
pubic area. Not good for you and not good for your shaver either.
Besides razor shaving
there are of course other options. So here we go.
Hair removal creams
Not all hair removal products are suitable for use in the genital area.
Most of them are simply too aggressive. A mild form, like Veet Mild, may
do the trick but not all women can handle that and will show allergic
reactions in the genital area. If you have no problem with hair removal
creams in other areas, you may want to give it a try. The main advantage
is that it requires less intensive maintenance.
Always test hair removal
products on a harmless spot, to check for possible allergic reactions.
The inside of the elbow is a good spot to test. If your skin turns red
or if the spot stays itchy longer than it should (most hair removal products
will cause an itchy feeling for ten to twenty minutes when used in a tender
area), don't use it in the genital area.
After using a hair
removal cream in the genital area, wash generously, using lots and lots
of warm water and apply aftercare products or baby oil. Again, you'll
need to care for the now soft skin daily.
Other hair removal
products, such as waxing, are not suitable unless you're a real pain freak.
Some women have had good experiences with a new product called Epil Stop,
but again, the results are determined individually. Epil Stop is a semi-permanent
hair removal cream. The effect will last longer than other hair removal
products and eventually the hair is supposed to stop growing entirely,
but that will not always be true for everybody.
Electrolysis
Electrolysis is a permanent form of hair removal through - very mild -
electric shocks,. The method itself is totally safe but has various disadvantages.
First of all, there
are different methods: one - done in salons only - is to use a needle
shaped device that is put into the follicle and will kill the hair root
there. The other is a pincer that grabs an individual hair and sends a
very mild shock through it. The effectiveness of the method is individually
determined but there is a huge price difference. A professional salon
treatment (done in a series of treatments) is expensive and may have to
be repeated several times. Buying a personal device yourself is a lot
cheaper and if you're looking for (semi)permanent removal you may want
to opt for the latter first, simply for financial reasons.
It's hard to give
a good cost estimate when it comes to salon electrolysis, simply because
different salons have different prices. However, don't be surprised if
the entire treatment costs well over a thousand dollars. The advantage
of course is that you can do it in sessions, hence you do not have to
come up with the entire amount up front. Good advice if you're planning
electrolysis is first of all check out a few different salons, and second,
start with the bikini line first and work downward. This way you won't
be stuck with a rather awkward half-bald mons.
Both methods are not
completely painless (in fact the professional methods are frequently painful)
and some women may need several repeat treatments before the hair growth
is stopped. Also, it may lead to red irritation spots that will last for
a long time.
Electrolysis requires
pre- and aftercare. If you're planning to opt for a salon treatment, ask
about creams that help reduce the pain and that will make the hair softer,
hence easier to remove. Good aftercare after each treatment will help
the healing process of the skin. Ask the salon about aftercare. It's important.
Pulling
If you have a patient dominant, pulling the hair out one by one certainly
is an option, but be aware that it will take several sessions and that
it's not exactly painless.
Fun designs
Especially if this is your first time, you may want to think about trying
a "design shave," i.e. not a full genital shave but instead just something
creative, such as leaving a single top to bottom streak or a small triangle.
It really isn't that difficult to do and can be a lot of fun.
Male genitals -
shaving differences
As we said, what applies to women largely applies to men as well. That
goes for methods too, although very few men will opt for electrolysis,
mainly due to the sensitivity of the scrotum (the penis doesn really care).
It's not impossible, just a bit more painful and the process takes a lot
longer, hence will be more expensive too.
Razor shaving male
genitals
Shaving the
male geital area is a LOT more work and difficult, especially if you've
never done it before. It might take you up to an hour to do it the first
time. You need a special razor (the male version of the Wilkinson Sword
again is your best bet) and either a female or very mild shaving cream.
Don't be unnecessarily "macho" and make sure you invest in aftercare.
And no, don't try using your electric razor. It won't work and it WILL
hurt.
The easiest way to
shave your scrotum is to start at the bottom. Pull up everything with
one hand and start shaving from in between your legs upward. Be very cafeul
around the center of the scrotum, since your skin is exceptionally tender
there. Next do both sides and finally concentrate on the top of your scrotum,
preferably before working on and above your penis. By doing it this way
you'll have the most difficult parts done first. (Note: men, same as women,
will be wise to make the shaving process a daily task, which will keep
maintenance a lot simpler.)
Worth considering:
most men - as opposed to women - will have a lot less trouble using a
mild hair removal product such as Veet Mild.
Two more hints
for everyone
DON'T try coloring your pubic hair. Most of the time it won't work very
well anyway and it can also be unhealthy. If you want a 'color-for-the-night,'
try using hair mascara or glitter instead.
You can make your
pubic hair softer by using conditioner in the same way you would use a
conditioner for your head hair. This is worth doing for at least a week
or two before your first shave.
|