The Foundation of a D/s Relationship
statistics, science and logic, there is an axiom that that some
things are necessary but alone are not sufficient to demonstrate
something else or to allow something else to exist. This is most
certainly true about communication in a healthy, growing D/s relationship.
rich, growing D/s relationship is built on many things... common
interests and attraction, mutual goals, commitment. A healthy
relationship incorporates the three legs of our community... safe
sane and consensual. However, no successful relationship, especially
a D/s relationship can be established, continue to grow, or even
be sustained without open, honest and deep communication between
those involved! Communication is not the substance of the relationship...
but the catalyst that allows the relationship to grow... and the
glue that holds it together.
the popular television sitcom, "Everybody Loves Raymond",
much of the recurring theme and humor centers on the inability
of Raymond and Debra to communicate about things of substance
in their marriage. Like most comedy of this sort, we find it funny
because most of us can relate to what is happening to them. In
a recent episode they spent "romantic dinner" together
talking about the qualities of the bread and butter they were
served. Later in the show, they were able to see how, by looking
at his parents, a couple could drift along for decades without
capturing the potential of the marriage or relationship... just
surviving together without thriving. What a tragedy! Yet it happens
all the time.
me, the quality of a rich D/s relationship centers on the ability
of the couple to progress on a path of MUTUAL growth and pleasure!
To achieve the full potential of the relationship, to share in
the richness that can be achieved, both must be able to share
to the very depths of their being. Interests, goals, pleasures,
sorrows, fears, fantasies, aspirations, and disappointments...
we step back and look, the concept is not at all difficult to
comprehend. How can one "Dominate", the other "submit"
without this most fundamental component in the relationship?
No matter how good or complete the communication is, communication
alone will not be sufficient to establish, sustain or grow the
quality of the relationship. There must be substance to what is
when communication fails, the foundation of the relationship is
taken away.... and the relationship itself will soon follow.