September/October 2001
Guidelines for Sex in the 90's
by Annie Sprinkle

While the Ď90s are over, we feel that the information that Annie imparts upon us is timeless. Look for more articles by Annie Sprinkle in our next issue.

Abstinence can be Dangerous To Your Health.
Abstinence can cause incredible anxiety, frustration, depression, disease, violence and a whole host of other destructive forces. If you like sex, then don't give it up. It's too precious a gift.

Redefine Your Concept of Sex:
Because we are now in the AIDS era, it is essential that we let go of old ideas of how sex is "supposed to be." We have to find new ways to be intimate and express sexual feelings. Learn that sex is about intimacy, not the way bodies touch. Focus on energy.

Accept the Fact that you are living in the AIDS era:
Stop complaining that sex isn't the way it used to be and that you hate condoms. Get over it and accept reality. Learn to love latex. Total acceptance of the reality of being in the AIDS era will get rid of fear and frustration and bring awareness and compassion. Educate yourself on safe sex practices. Use safer sex whenever you need to, so we can stop the spread of the AIDS virus and other STDs.

Visualize a Safe and Satisfying Future for your Sex Life and the Sex Lives of Future Generations.

Let Your Sexual Energy Flow:
If you've been repressing your sexuality because of the fear of AIDS, you don't need to. Realize that AIDS is caused by a virus and not by your sexuality. (That's like saying you will go blind if you masturbate) Your sexuality will not give you AIDS. There are a trillion, billion, million ways to be sexual without risking any exposure to AIDS, or risking exposing someone else. Enjoy them.

Make Love to the Earth and the Sky:
Our earth and sky are painfully polluted. Make love to them, and they'll make love to you. Send them your sexual energy. They love it.

Make Time for Enjoying Sex:
If you like sex, give yourself and others the gift of loving sensual/sexual pleasure. THROW AWAY YOUR TV.

Get Rid of Any Last Vestige of Sexual Guilt and of Any Feelings That You Don't Deserve Pleasure.

Do Not Judge Yourself or Others:
We are all at the right place at the right time in our sexual evolution. Our sex lives, like all the parts of our lives, go through many phases. We learn from all our experiences including our "mistakes." Allow other people their own paths. Allow yourself your own path.

Learn About Your Breath:
Sexual and orgasmic energy travel on the breath. Breathing techniques can make sex so much more powerful and satisfying. (It's possible to have an orgasm from breathing alone. Is this the safe sex of the future?) Rhythmic breathing is the best thing since the invention of the vibrator.

Know That You Can Choose How You Want to Express Your Sexuality - Self-Lovingly or Self-Destructively:
Many people are shutting down their sexuality because they have come to realize that they had a lot of self-destructive and addictive behavior revolving around sex. But you have a choice, just like you do with what you eat. There is junk sex, health sex, and gourmet sex. Try to make self-loving choices, but if you don't, then don't beat yourself up.

Take Care of Your Body:
Eat well, exercise, and pamper your body with long baths and obscenely expensive toiletries.

 

A NOTE FROM ANNIE:

Hello there. I hope this little letter finds you well and good.

Summer is my favorite season of all, so I'm a happy camper. I'm writing to you from the Sin Francisco Bay area. These days I divide my time between here, and Orcas Island (Washington), where my girlfriend Captain Barb and I have a house and a 40' boat. It's a little hard doing the long distance relationship thing at times because I miss her terribly when I'm gone, but I just wasn't ready to leave civilization for paradise completely. So that's the price I pay to HAVE IT ALL. Barb just started a hot tub business. (See hottubgirl.com, and captainbarb.com.) She's a great girlfriend and brings me lots of joy. I'm proud to say we just had our two-year anniversary. We are looking to create a country retreat center/pleasure park eventually.

Well, I am now officially DR. Annie Sprinkle!!! It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I just received a DHS -- a Doctorate of Human Sexuality at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, in San Francisco. I have worked hard to get it and spent a small fortune on tuition. They did give me some credit for 28 years of life experience in the field, which was nice. I aim to go on to get a Ph.D.. All I have left to do now is a dissertation, which is a big project, but hopefully by the next Feb. I'll get the Ph.D.

People have been asking me what Iím going to do now that I'm "Dr.". Well, I donít plan to be a therapist, or a researcher. Probably I will continue to do my multi-media work (video, performance, photos, etc.) but I now have some of the scientific aspects of sex on my palate. I've simply broadened my knowledge base, and I have been very inspired by learning about various sex researchers. My work won't have such a personal tone anymore, but be about sexuality in a broader sense. But then again, who knows what the future will actually bring?

I'm really happy with the way my new book came out, Hardcore From the Heart -- The Pleasures, Profits and Politic of Sex in Performance. The publishers, Continuum, were wonderful to work with, and spared no expense on the quality of the printing. It's a very sensuous product. The first (albeit small) printing has sold out already!

I've been a lot more in my head than in my body this past year, doing tons of writing for school and work, spending many days in front of the computer. Hopefully soon I will spend more time in my body, and have a more physically active life. I really miss spending more time in my body, because it is so connected with my emotions and my spirituality, and sexuality of course. So much writing makes me kind of numb. But I have written some good stuff, especially a lengthy piece on sex and psychedelics, a fascinating subject, which I might do as a book one day with a friend of mine.

It's an honor for me to be on the board of the St. James Infirmary (stjamesinfirmary.com), a free, full service health care clinic for sex workers in S.F. The Sex Workers Rights movement is still where my heart lies. I just love sex workers, and want the best for them. Especially prostitutes. (I can hardly believe that I was a prostitute for twenty years. It seems so long ago--and I'm such a dyke now!).

Veronica Vera and I will take a road trip down the California coast and visit friends in L.A. Then I'll attend my annual family reunion. I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful, brilliant friends, and a fabulous, fun family. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

Well, that's enough about me. How are you? What's the buzz? Do tell all. I wish you the very best. Stay in touch.

With hot coconut oil,

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