of reasons. For many people, the knowledge that they are helpless,
that someone else can do things with their body and they can't
prevent them, is a powerful turn-on. "I'm going to make
you come and there's nothing you can do about it." It's
a very strong statement of trust to let someone bind you helplessly,
or even non-helplessly. How erotic, to feel yourself spread
open, wanton and wet, and to see your lover kneeling between
your legs, ready to use you for their pleasure--or to pleasure
others, the simple sensation of bondage feels good. Tight
constriction can create very intense stimulation, and lots
of tight bondage can be a sensory trip, just as a whipping
scene can be. Bondage can feel comforting, pleasantly confining;
you don't need to worry about anything, since what can you
do? You're all tied up, and all that's left is to enjoy.
yet others, it's a charge to struggle, to let your body lose
control. It can really intensify an orgasm when you come with
every muscle straining against your bonds, trying to get your
hands free to smash your lover's face into your crotch, your
body shaking. If you weren't tied down you'd hurt yourself!
me, it's all three of these reasons :-)
especially intense form of bondage is verbal bondage: putting
your bottom in some position (spread-eagled, kneeling, whatever)
and commanding them not to move... and then tormenting them!
One kinky variation on this is as follows: have your bottom
hold their hands out in front of them, fingers splayed, each
fingertip touching the opposite fingertip. Put a penny between
each pair of fingertips so they're holding five pennies. Now
order them not to let a single one drop, on pain of some punishment
or other, and then go to work! This works best on a hard floor
so you can hear the coin drop.
are a bunch of common-sense things to know about if you want
to get into bondage. Most of these are pretty obvious, but
they're stated here because that's what a FAQ's for! The basic
idea, though, is to experiment. The first few times you won't
really know what you're doing, and that's fine! Take your
time trying different positions, different kinds of rope,
whatever. And if you've got a new idea that you want to try
out before your big date... well, why not try it on yourself?
If you can get into a position comfortably, you can probably
make your bottom comfortable in that position!
sure your bottom's extremities don't start getting cold or
turning blue; those are both sure signs that blood isn't flowing
the way it ought to, and that isn't what you want to have
happen. If your bottom's hands are bound inside mittens or
some other place that's not accessible to you, ask them to
wiggle their fingers or toes or whatever and see if they're
losing any feeling. It can be tricky to tie someone up without
making it too tight; in general, a good rule is to tie loosely
with lots of turns of rope. You can tighten such a tie with
just another turn around all the rest, and it can be a real
drag to have a bottom's foot fall asleep in the middle of
a scene; this kind of thing can feel very annoying and distracting,
and can make it hard for your bottom to concentrate on what
you are making them feel.
scarves, bandannas, etc. also have this problem with tightening
under tension; sometimes they get so tight they have to be
cut off. If you're a novice, you may want to avoid these hassles
by purchasing a pair of basic ankle and wrist cuffs (in leather,
velcro, or whatever) at an adult toy store; and if you get
embarrassed, remember the old standby excuse: "It's a
gag wedding gift!"
are sexy, but they can also be a pain. Shoddy cuffs (the kind
you buy at the sporting goods store) are liable to break while
being worn--then you have to file them off. If you want to
play with handcuffs, get a good quality pair; the usual brand
is Peerless, and they'll cost about $30, with a double lock
so you can snap them on and then lock them so they won't get
tighter under pressure (as cheap cuffs will). Handcuffs are
also bare metal, and aren't good to struggle against, as they
can easily pinch nerves... padded, buckling bondage cuffs
are better for those sorts of games.
not leave a bound person alone. Though it is a hot fantasy
to tie someone up in some precarious position (possibly with
vibrators or other devices buzzing away) and leave them to
stew, in reality you must consider: what if the house is burgled?
catches on fire? earthquake? any sort of emergency? Fun is
fun, but a helpless person is just that: helpless. A willing
partner is too precious to take risks with.
very careful about tying anything around the neck; anything
that puts any pressure AT ALL on the front of the neck can
lead to unconsciousness quickly, as the carotid arteries go
right to the brain. Likewise be careful with gags or things
tied in the mouth; as well as restricting breathing, they
can trigger a gag reflex, which could be really nasty if the
bottom can't get the gag out. You'll need to find another
way of using safewords for use while gagged.
be aware that if someone is standing for any length of time
in any sort of tight bondage, it can lead to less circulation
to their head; if you suddenly do something intense to that
person, it may trigger a headrush which could easily result
in a faint. Always use hooks which can be released instantly
even with the bottom's full weight on them (these are sometimes
called "panic snaps" and can be found in good hardware
stores), and keep a pair of bandage scissors handy in case
ropes or straps need to be cut loose.
careful what you tie your bottom to; if an exposed water pipe
is handy, be aware it may heat up. Likewise with candles;
be careful when you're waving flame around someone who's bound,
as they can't flinch the way unbound people can.
you don't have anything handy to tie someone to, you can always
tie their wrists behind their back and then to their waist.
Or if your bed doesn't have any posts, you can wrap ropes
around the legs of the bed and spread-eagle your bottom that
way. In general, there are a million ways to tie someone up,
and a little practice--on your bottom or on yourself!--will
let you improvise in almost any situation.
I list a few sorts of common bondage devices mentioned here
in stories and postings. If you read a term here which you
don't understand, write me and I'll add a description.
or Cocooning: About the most complete form of bondage is to
wrap someone up so they are completely immobile. The most
popular way to mummify someone is with plastic wrap. A common
technique is to wrap each limb separately, then wrap the arms
to the sides, and then wrap the legs together--and then help
the bottom lie down on an adjacent soft surface. You can then
cut holes (carefully!) to access any especially sensitive
areas, or wrap duct tape over it all for extra security, or
add gags, blindfolds, etc. One way the body releases heat
is by sweating, and while mummified you can't sweat too much,
so make sure your bottom doesn't overheat--and have a blanket
ready to cover them with when you cut them out of their cocoon,
using the bandage scissors (obtainable from medical supply
stores--one flat blade makes cutting easier) which you of
course have ready to hand. And as always, monitor your bottom
very carefully; they are helpless, and your neglect or inattention
could spell disaster.
Many leather stores and artisans make bondage hoods. These
are typically constricted of leather or rubber. Some have
simple zippers, and you zip them up to secure them. Others
have laces on the back and/ or the sides, to enable the hood
to be laced more tightly, for greater bondage effect. Some
hoods have eye holes, some don't. Some hoods have mouth holes,
some don't. Some deluxe hoods have built-in earmuffs or even
space for earphones, for sensory deprivation. Almost all hoods
have nose holes, for obvious reasons. Hoods can restrict a
bottom's breathing quite seriously, and tops must remain continually
aware of their bottom's condition while their bottom is wearing
a hood--especially if the hood is combined with any form of
gag. Do not leave a hooded bottom alone; breathing difficulty
can come on quickly. Some people believe that any hood without
a zipper or other extra-quick-release mechanism is too dangerous
to use on a bottom. In any case, you should have some bandage
scissors at the ready if the hood needs to be removed in a
If you like being bound, the ultimate extreme is bondage which
encompasses your entire body, leaving you with no motion whatever.
Bondage bodybags (or "sleepsacks") resemble a well-tailored,
snug sleeping bag, often made out of leather or spandex. Spandex
bodybags are the least expensive, and if made from heavy enough
spandex can be very restrictive indeed. Often bodybags have
an opening at the upper end, through which you slide your
feet, pulling the bag up to your neck. Many have other openings
for genitals or nipples, so your botttom can be pleasured
or tortured while immobile. Leather bodybags can be arbitrarily
complex (and expensive); some have built-in internal arm sleeves
to further minimize motion, or suspension straps so the bag,
bottom and all, can be lifted into the air. Some have laces
around the outside so the bag can be cinched to a downright
painful tightness. If you REALLY have money to burn, you can
even get inflatable rubber bodybags--get in it and pump it
up, and float away! Caveats about breathing and quick-release
apply here as well.
skirts: Fetish clothing is often designed not just to look
good and feel good, but to act almost as bondage in its own
right. Hobble skirts are a perfect example: they are simply
skirts which fit very snugly from waist down to ankles. Often
the wearer can take steps of only a few inches while wearing
the skirt (thus the term "hobble skirt"). When combined
with a pair of high heels, these skirts can be almost totally
immobilizing, even without any other bondage. Leather or rubber
are (again) the typical materials, though some dedicated tailors
make their own from velvet or satin or other sensuous materials.
Restraints, typically leather, that bind both arms behind
the back. Some resemble large gloves that pull up over both
arms and buckle around the shoulders. Others are straps that
go down the middle of the back and have attached wrist cuffs.
In general, there are lots of kinds of bondage gear, and you
can even invent your own....
by Johnson Grey