July/August 2002


Catherine's Frustration
by ~sapphire~


Catherine was restless, it had been a long, long couple of weeks! Gregory had been working grueling, long days and had been home very little. He usually came home, ate a late dinner and then fell exhausted into a sound sleep. Catherine knew she should not be upset. In fact, she felt bad for him. Soon this project would be done and, hopefully, that life could return to normal... they would again have time together. Gregory worked so hard for them to give them all that they needed, she just missed him and needed him.

She knew he wished life were normal also, she worried because he seemed so tired, and hated the long hours he had to work and the emptiness it left her. She shook her head; she was being selfish. She knew the demands of his work, but she also hated this separation. He kept telling her, "Hang on Cat this project will be done on the 15th and we will make up for lost time." She smiled as she looked at the calendar, the 15th was this Friday and she had secretly made plans for a weekend alone for them. Her sister, Annette, would pick the children up from school on Friday and keep them until after school on Monday.

She had not told Gregory of the arrangements for the weekend or the children, she knew he was much too busy to burden with things. So she had handled it all herself, including the purchase of a new black lace teddie. She smiled as she slid it back into her drawer. She knew it would not be worn for long but she could hardly wait to see his face when hecame home from work to find her waiting for him in it!

She smiled as she kissed him goodbye that morning, so happy that the 15th had finally arrived. It was, as usual, dark and very early when he left. He swatted her rear as he kissed her goodbye. She could see a twinkle in his eye as he told her that he would be home early that night. She hurried and got a shower and got busy working on the preparations for the day, she fed the children and sent them off to school, each with a small bag packed for the weekend. She set to work cleaning and cooking, they would have a wonderful romantic dinner, with all of Gregory's favorites. At 4:00 the phone rang and her heart dropped. It was Gregory. They had run into a problem with the project and he would have to work late tonight and long hours on Saturday and Sunday. She told him softly how much she loved him, and good luck on getting things done. Tears flowed from her eyes as she hung up the phone; life was so unfair at times. He had said he would be early, so all preparations were complete except lighting the candles and changing into the special teddie.

She was angry at the world and sat down trying to decide what to do with yet another lonely evening. She looked over the table, set with their best china, silver, and crystal and decided she would go on without him. The lobster needed to be boiled so she would have a fine dinner alone. She hurried into the bathroom, and sunk into a tub filled with warm perfumed water, her body tingled as she ran the soft sponge over her skin. As the sponge moved over her breasts, she felt her nipples harden and become very erect. God, she missed Gregory... his touch... his use of her. She spent a long time washing each breast, as the sponge moved across her nipples, her clit began to throb with desire. She wanted to scream, or cry; she needed him badly tonight. Her body needed him, urgently! She shook her head. "Cat, what is wrong with you?" she said to herself. Gregory had been absent too long; she had started caring about her needs rather than his. She quickly finished her bath and moved from the tub

As she wrapped herself in the towel and moved to the bedroom where she saw the black teddie that she had laid out on the bed. She smiled, said "Oh well" and laughed as she put it on. As she pulled it up over her slim body, the see-thru lace rubbed against her sensitive, hardened nipples, causing her to once more squirm with arousal. She reached down and snapped the crotch, the tong in the back settled between her cheeks and she moaned softly as a snap rubbed her clit. She gasped as she walked, and was determined to enjoy this evening as if he were here.

She ate the lobster and enjoyed most of a bottle of wine. She seldom drank this much. She thought to herself "Gregory would be upset if he saw me like this." Then, with a deep sigh, thought, "Oh well, how would he ever know? He's never home!"

She took her glass and the bottle of wine and moved into the bedroom. Oh my yes! She was quite tipsy. She reached into the tall chest in the corner of the bedroom and fumbled in one of Gregory's drawers. She found the small key at the bottom of the drawer; took the key into the closet and unlocked the large chest of drawers. One by one, she pulled the drawers open and carefully examined each implement of their D/s lifestyle. "Hmmmm." she thought. "Oh my!" she giggled as she looked at the various nipple clamps, clit clamps, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators etc. in each drawer. She purposely avoided opening the drawers with the crops and paddles. She took a large dildo from the drawer and lay back on the bed.

She felt that she could wait no longer... needed to feel the dildo inside of her... thrusting into her deep and hard. Her body was highly aroused. With the combination of the alcohol, the teddie and the long weeks without Gregory, she was flushed with desire. She looked at the dildo for a long time, recalling how Gregory used it on her... filling her... bringing her to the heights of passion. Deep down, she felt she should not do this. "But who would ever know?" she finally asked herself. She would never lie to Gregory if he asked her. But she also wanted to feel the dildo fill her wet, dripping womanhood. She was a very passionate woman. She loved the sexual aspect of her life with Gregory, and, with him, she orgasmed easily... many, many times in one session at Gregory's expert hands or at his command.

They had often laughed, wondering if there was a limit to the number of orgasms that Catherine could have. But tonight Cat needed just one... only one! And she would never do it again!

As she thought about Gregory and his use of her, her hands moved over her breasts... her fingers gathering at the nipples... rolling them... pinching and pulling them as he did. Then her hand moved slowly down her body... her legs spread as she imagined her hand was his. She cupped the area between her legs, gasping. A finger moved to her throbbing clit. She had soaked to crotch of the teddie with her juices. She moaned softly, thinking, "Why does Gregory not know how much I need him tonight?" She unsnapped the teddie with one hand while the other found the dildo lying on the bed. Raising her hips, eyes closed, thinking of him, she moved the dildo against her pussy lips. She gasped as she felt its size and hardness... as she pushed it slowly into herself. She cried out, "Oh Gregory, I need you!"

A voice from behind her spoke firmly, "Catherine I'm here. I have been here since you took the key from my drawer."

Catherine froze. He always called her Catherine in that tone when he was upset. She dropped the dildo and it slipped from her wetness... the color drained from her face. Tears filled her eyes as she stammered, "Gregory I am sorry. I have broken the rules and I was wrong. I..." her voice trailed off she did not know what else to say. She started to move, but he told her, "Please continue Catherine. It seems you have decided what you need... so please... continue!" His voice was cold... cutting.

Her eyes searched his face as he stood next to the bed. She could see the look of disappointment and the controlled anger in his eyes. She looked at him as tears fell against her hot cheeks. "Gregory, please..." she pleaded. He pulled a chair from beside her dresser and seated himself at the side of the bed. "Catherine, continue," he said firmly.

She knew by his tone that she must do as he commanded. She groped for the dildo, lying between her legs, and gasped as she pushed it deep into her wetness. Gregory sat, watching. He said nothing except occasionally "harder" or "deeper." As the dildo moved in and out of her, she was gasping... she needed to release... her body shook. Still, the command did not come. Her eyes begged him... watching intently, his eyes cold... he said nothing. Finally, her body gave in... she lost all control. In her confusion, she had no idea what to think or expect... her world seemed in chaos.
During her life with Gregory she had never been so unsure of how to act or what to do. Everything was out of sync... wrong... confused! She searched his face for direction, but he just stood and moved to the closet. He returned with the vibrator with the clit stimulator that she loved and handed it to her... then sat back down, folding his arms across his chest and staring at her. All he said was "continue."

She looked at him and the tears again fell. "Please Gregory... I don't know what to do."

He laughed, but it was not a laugh of amusement. "You don't know how to use the vibe, Catherine?" He took it from her and turned it on full, and shoved it into her.

Catherine gasped, cried out. Gregory had never treated her this roughly. "I don't know when or if I should cum." Catherine sobbed. "I don't know how to act" she moaned as the vibe hummed within her. Gregory just forced it more firmly into her, the clit stimulator made her gasp... cry out.

"Do as you had decided before I arrived" Gregory hissed. "Obviously you had already made that decision, Catherine."

He pushed the stimulator firmly against her clit and her body shook as she lost control. Then he took her hand and placed it on the end of the vibe, forcing her to hold it in place. He stepped back, eyes staring at her, and again settled back into his chair. Again, he said nothing more than "continue." She came repeatedly, her body convulsing over and over. But her heart was not in it. She wanted to stop, but each time she began to withdraw the vibe, Gregory would say "Not yet, Catherine... continue!"

It seemed forever, her world was spinning. In time, she collapsed in exhaustion after a long series of orgasms. Gregory rose, standing over her, staring down as she sobbed. Finally, he reached pulled the vibe from her. She was so sore and exhausted she could hardly move. She longed for His touch, but it was not given. He just looked over her naked body for a long time. Finally, voice distant, hard... he asked if she had saved Him any dinner or wine.

Confused, crying, she moved quickly from the bed, and said she would get his dinner.

He said, with disdain, "Thank you."

Catherine reached for her robe.

"No!" he said firmly.

She hurried, naked and sore... trembling... to fix his dinner. She was confused, afraid, unsure... her world seemed to be upside down. She wanted to know what Gregory was thinking, but was afraid to ask. Why had she gotten herself into this mess, her world had suddenly become chaos, not the calm ordered world that she and Gregory had always shared.

She placed his dinner on the table and watched as he ate. He said nothing except a polite comment now and again about how nice the table looked or how wonderful the dinner was. When he finished, he moved to the living room, sitting in his favorite chair. He sat silently, listening to his favorite classical CD.

Catherine cleaned the dishes and went silently to the bedroom. When she returned, she knelt before him, naked, her head bowed. Lying across her upraised palms, her arms extended up to him was the crop.

He looked at her firmly, and she spoke softly, "Please Gregory... please punish me for what I have done" He looked at her for a long time, remaining silent.

Finally, speaking softly "Catherine, did I ask for the crop?

"No" she replied. "I just need for you to punish me, because afterwards I will know I am forgiven for breaking the rules." Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"Catherine, return the crop to its drawer, and bring a writing pad and a pen with you when you return."

She rose silently and returned the crop to its place and quickly came back with the pad and pen.

"Now, Catherine, sit at my feet and please write on the pad all the 'rules' of our relationship... write them as exactly as you can remember... trying to phrase them as I did when I made them a rule."

Catherine sat at his feet and took the pen. She started to write and then scratched out and then tried to write again.

He looked at the pad. "Catherine, let me help you. Do you remember the day I put the lock on the chest of drawers that contains the implements of our lifestyle?"

"Yes" she replied, quietly, unable to look up at him.

"Why was it fitted with a lock little one?" Gregory asked.

"To keep the children out of it." Cat said softly.

Gregory continued "Did I, at that time, tell you where the key was to be kept?"

"Yes" Cat replied.

"And did I say you were not to open the drawers?" Gregory continued.


"So, little one, was there a rule about the drawers or their contents?"

"No" Catherine felt confused, but she knew deep in her heart what she had done was wrong. She had seen the disappointment on Gregory's face when he had found her on the bed.

Again he pressed her, "Catherine please write the rules of O/our relationship."

Catherine thought long and hard and finally wrote, "It was agreed that we would talk things through whenever things troubled us."

Gregory smiled as he read her words on the paper, but said nothing leaving her to think about what else to write.

Catherine thought for a long time, but she could not think of any other hard and fast rules. Their relationship and marriage was built on love, respect, and communication. She had learned the things that pleased him and of his needs. And she tried hard to do as she felt she should. He had never forced her to do anything; she had always done as she did because she knew it would please him, or that it would add to the growth of what they shared. But lately, she had been filled with what she had wanted... making decisions only for her.

"Gregory please" she finally said. "Please punish me, because I am so filled with guilt for what I have done."

"No Catherine.' he said firmly. "It is not the time. You need to search within yourself and figure out what has happened tonight."

As she thought, she again shook her head. What was wrong with her? She had never, ever before asked to be punished! She hated the crop when it was used it that way. But she wanted it now, because she knew once it was done that what ever had caused the problem would be over and she would be forgiven... that things were returned to normal. She longed for "normal" again.

"Master," she finally said, "I was wrong tonight wasn't I?"

"Yes," he replied, his voice now soft, caring. "You were wrong about many things little one, but you need to figure out what they are. If I were to punish you now, you would just put all this aside and not learn from it. Your punishment will come when the time is right... when you have figured out, understand what you did that was wrong."

"I should not have used the dildo," Cat said softly.

Gregory looked at her, "Why Cat, why was it wrong?"

Tears flowed as she looked at him. "I was lonely and frustrated." she said softly. "And I needed to orgasm, so I decided to do so."

He pulled her chin into his hand, looking down at her. "And why did you not speak to me of what was troubling you?"

"I thought you were too busy and I decided I could handle it," she said softly.

Gregory shook his head. "But Cat, many years ago didn't you give yourself to me, and all that you are. In making these decisions, do you not see that you took that gift back from me tonight?"

Catherine felt shaken to the core. She had never considered things in this light; she had only seen life as black and white. She had never seen that her actions had indeed taken the most precious part of her relationship with him from him. She had indeed taken the gift back, that which she had so willingly given to him long ago. No wonder her world now seemed so confused, so upside down! In her lust, she had shaken the very foundation of all they shared!

She sobbed softly and Gregory pulled her into his lap. "Gregory, I am so sorry! I just did not realize what I was doing. I knew it seemed wrong, but I didn"t know why. Please, please... I do not want to take away what I gave to you. I want to be yours... need to be yours... completely!"

Gregory smiled and held her close. "Cat, I do love you. But you are not a slave! I have always wanted you to think for yourself and to be the strong, complete person that you are. I came home tonight because I knew your sexual appetite was great as is mine! I know you well little one... I know you are a passionate, sexual woman. And I know you have needs."

She sobbed softly... yes Gregory knew her better than she knew herself!

She looked at him lovingly. "Gregory I want to be yours. I don't want to ever feel like this again."

He kissed her gently. "Little one, we will set it right again. Know that when you don't talk with me, when you don't let me know what it is that you are thinking or need... that I can't do what I must to take care of you... of us! It was not the didlo that made me so disappointed in you tonight... it was that you had, without telling me, reclaimed your gift to me.

Catharine, it hurts me deeply to think you do not care for me enough, that you do not respect me enough... that you would take back your gift in this way. Your gift to me.. the gift of yourself... is the most precious thing I own... the most important in my life."

The words cut into her... more harshly than the crop ever could. That was her punishment... knowing she had let him down in one of the worst possible ways. Catherine clung to him, understanding, afraid to let go.

After a while, the silence bringing them back together... a calm settling between them, Gregory moved his hand to cup Catherine's bare left breast. Quietly, gently, he caressed her... and whispered to her... the love back in his voice. "Little one... your Master has great need of you. I hope you are ready for a long and tiring weekend!"