 by
Dennis Burns
Wanted:
a Master, who is both kind and strong, Must
be able to help me focus, for this I long, “A
broom is drearily sweeping,
A young lady had contacted me not to long ago concerning one of
my articles she had read. It seems it struck her and she noted that
I lived close to her, so she sent me an email asking about what
she had read. I normally do not give my IM out to many but something
in the wording of her missive gave me pause… it had piqued my curiosity,
so we started talking. She is a young woman living at home (before
tongues run wild, she is above legal age, it is just a matter of
circumstances.) she has had some experience with the life (style)
from both a male and a female Top/Domme at different times in her
life. As
we talked I offered to help her to understand and learn more about
what she was and help her with her path to being more like what
she wished to be. I informed her that I was married and though I
am a polyamourus male and my wife understands, (that is to the best
of her ability, it’s not quite as easy as some would think) I also
explained that I was not attempting to become her Master nor was
I a HNG (Horney Net Geek) looking to play for sexual gratification.
I did offer to meet her for some coffee in a very public place,
for her own sense of safety and well being, when and if she ever
felt ready to. I also gave her permission to contact me at any time
that she needed to. I also said I would be on the look out for any
one who I thought might be well suited to possibly be compatible
as her Dom or even Master. (That is a distinction for them to work
out.) Now
many things had gone through my mind during and after the discussions
we have had, one was I had to devote a lot of time in explaining
my actions and words to her, not because of her; but because of
our society and times. You see, a long, long time ago, in a place
far, far away, when a young woman or man asked me questions about
our life (style) and if I would help them to understand who and
what they were (not always the same as what or who they thought
they were… go figure…) well I could just go ahead and make arrangements
to assist them on the pathway. Well that is not so easily done any
more, you see when I was younger, very much younger, a mentor was
a mentor and a teacher was a teacher and a Master was a Master.
But not so it seems anymore, too many have used the terms we once
thought we knew the meaning for and have derailed them from the
track we believed they belonged on. Far
too many have entered into our life (style) with the moniker Master
12 inches, or Mistress of distress, Lord of your ass, Slave Master
of any who kneel, etc… (Any resemblances to any real names… sorry
but maybe you should consider a change of name.) Too many have come
into another’s life in the guise of a mentor or teacher simply as
an excuse to be a predator or they take on the title of what they
think they are or want to be. No
one wants to start at the perceived bottom of the rung, except for
the blessed bottoms or those rare omegas. What people have forgotten
or maybe never were taught about this life is that we may not have
many core beliefs but we do have some.
The other is commitment,
not everybody wishes the varied levels of commitment that the Dom
and Master ladder requires. Each ladder has it’s own skill sets but
the level of interpersonal commitment rises exponentially from Top
to Dom to Master. (Damn and I hated algebra.) Oh and a minor difference
is that Tops tend to deal more in the realm of S/M while Dom and Masters
work with more D/s though all can be stirred in the alphabet soup
we call BDSM. I
also thought that as a person who has taught many things throughout
my life that it is such a shame that I have to explain my intent
(again not because of her) because of the world as it is. Buchmann’s
Academy now called the APEX Academy is one of the few places that
offers formalized training for Master and Slave, but not all can
rush out and sign up, though Master Steve probably would like that…
Woof! I
wish that there was a set standard to measure all of us with, but
there is no yardstick marked Master Measure, but there is a way
one can get some validation as to where one sits in the scheme of
things, for being humans we all like to know were we fit in the
hierarchal pyramid. One way to find were you sit or stand or even
kneel is by how others react or treat you compared to your own inner
truthfulness. Another
is who do you like to play with, you see there is a saying that
says “opposites attract” what a crock, it is not a universal for
I do not see many of the religious right sitting next to me at meetings,
I don’t see Dr. Laura being a part of a face slapping interrogation
scene (fun thought though), but it does somewhat work in our partner
dynamics, you see we tend to play best with our inverse: Tops play
well with Bottoms, Dom’s work well with Sub’s and Masters control
slaves. So if you find you play better with someone who wants to
just feel your better sadistic side and not cuddle too much or not
at all after wards you might be sitting on a rung of the Top ladder.
If you find that you like the actions of a submissive individual
who serves and you need only to speak softly to get your needs met,
you are on a rung of the Dom ladder. If you find that you need not
notice that your glass was filled by a loving devoted little one,
just that it was filled, that most of your commands are hardly ever
spoken, then your cheeks are on the Master ladder. (Ever notice
that as one travels from one ladder to another, their voice gets
lower…) Now
as to the young lady in question, she is of a tall statuesque build
yet extremely feminine in form. Definition: statuesque = stone fox,
damn showed my age again. I will not divulge anything more for that
is up to her. She should have no problem finding someone just right
for her and I will help as much as I can. OH, did I forget to mention
that he needs to be TALL at least 6’ 2” or taller. Until
once again my rants and raves cross your eyes, Be
well and blessed be, Credendo
vides!
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