There
are a great many terms used in the BDSM (bondage&discipline,
Sadomasochism)community. Some feel that the letters in the middle
denote a third additive to BDSM, D/S. D/S is an acronym for "Dominance
and submission. D/S, which you will Note I capitalize both letters
myself as I feel they have equal importance, is a relatively new
term mostly used by heterosexuals to describe themselves. This
term is only about 12-14 years old, but fast gaining acceptance
both In "cyberspace" and out in the world. It is also
gaining acceptance in the pansexual community as well. As far
as I can tell the term started in the realm of placing ads in
Local newspapers and swing ads by those looking for partners.
Ads stating "demanding woman seeks compliant male "
or "Man with dominating personality wishes to meet subservient
partners." These appeared as "Code" to inform others
of a persons tastes. These codes slowly evolved into "Dominant
Whatever wishes to meet Submissive so and so," they were
also helped along in great measure by the unsung heroes of the
BDSM/Leather world. The Professional Dominatrix. Now even though
I have adapted to using these terms both in my life and in my
writing I still find that in my opinion the terms dominant and
submissive more aptly describe what we are, not what we do. I
still personally use the term "Top" to describe what
role I play in an S&M "scene." I also prefer to
use the term "Lord" instead of "Master" in
Public. Saving the term "Master" for those who serve
me and those who wish to bestow the title upon me. I do this because
I feel master is a title earned, not taken to oneself nor given
lightly. To me one must master someone or some particular art
to earn the title.
All
of that said, know that finding any one term that is accepted
on a whole in the BDSM community is rare, and defining that term
in a way that all accept is well nigh impossible. Suffice to say
that in this authors opinion it matters little what term you use,
or how you chose to define yourself. As you read on you will have
many chances to define yourself, in anyway you chose, and that
is all that matters. How YOU define what YOU do is whats most
important. Getting caught up in what others see in your personal
definitions is a trap I feel one should avoid. Unless you wish
to make clear your tastes to someone you wish to attract or when
your seeking a partner. So I think at this point a bit of history
will help. To my knowledge, and I have looked into this quite
well. The first name or term given to what we practice as a consensual
Art was of course "Royal Torturer," :laughing: yes,nonconsensual,
but it is the most likely name or title given to the first person
who in some way enjoyed the giving, maybe even the receiving of
pain. Seriously, non consensual sadism, and slavery have been
around for centuries, and have no connection whatsoever to what
the BDSM community practice now other than a few terms. Consent
and strict negotiation are the norms in the modern lifestyle.
The
first term coined addressing what it is we do, in my opinion,
was Sadism/Sadist. These terms were coined in the Victorian era
(1830-1860) and named after the quite famous French writer Count
Donatien Alphonse Francois De Sade (b6/2/1740 d11/2/1840). Better
known as the Mrq. De Sade, most famous for writing the novel "Justine".
Also famous for being imprisoned for maltreating a prostitute
and having what most feel is a psychological disorder carry his
name. Not exactly the man I want to have my pleasures named after.
In the Mrq's mind the ultimate liberty was the freedom to violate
and destroy as will. By his own admission though he had little
or no real experience in sadistic acts, other than his fertile
imagination. By his philosophy he thought only of the power of
inflicting pain for HIS pleasure and would most likely be disgusted
by the consensual practices of modern practitioners. Close on
the heels of Sadism/Sadist came the terms Masochism/Masochist,
named after a likewise imprisoned Austrian writer Leopold Von
Sacher-Masoch. These terms were first made popular in 1886 By
a German psychiatrist Richard Von Krafft-Ebing and also later
combined in 1907 into the term we know today as sadomasochism.
Often abbreviated into S/M, he did this because he believed sadists
have masochistic traits and vise versa. But Krafft-Ebing was mostly
concerned with case studies of nonconsensual sexual violence,
Not a consensual act between two agreeing adults. Nevertheless
like most doctors in the Victorian era he wanted a title to describe
what he saw as an abhorrent behavior. And as was popular in the
Victorian era,He at the same time condemned ANY sexual act that
did not involve procreation as aberrant behavior. In this "enlightened"
age of the new millennium sadomasochism and homosexuality have
finally been removed from psychiatric books, the DSM-IV included,
as illnesses. As more studies have been done in recent years the
mental heath and medical communities have begun to accept BDSM
and SM as a safe and legitimate adult practice. In fact the DSM-IV
states that S&M only becomes a Disorder when "the fantasies,sexual
urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment
in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning"
In other words you stop having a real life outside of BDSM. As
you will see later our modern doctors like to name things just
as much as Krafft-Ebing did. Surely these erotic arts were practices
in those repressed times, or a term would not be needed to describe
what some saw as a pleasurable pastime, and others felt best described
as a disorder that must be cured. It is the authors belief that
it is this very repression that fed the taste for these pleasurable
arts, and that because of the repression of STDs rampant in our
modern world, a revival of sorts is underway. From Those seeking
to heighten their sexual pleasure, to those who seek to keep a
relationship alive with new experiences. People are looking for
new ways to explore their sexuality. Those who before found excitement
in multiple partners are now placed in a position to make the
partner they have both more exciting sexually and to keep that
same partner aroused in the context of their relationship. Still
more information and the introduction of the Internet have shown
those who have these fantasies that they are not alone and allow
more freedom to explore what masters and Johnson have estimated
that more than 20% of the population has experimented with. This
New knowledge, and the ability for thousands to communicate through
the Internet, has caused many to see that this is just how some
people are "wired" and that with Safe sane and consensual
ideals there is nothing wrong with bringing these Ideas into reality.
In fact many proudly proclaim membership in what has been loosely
called a lifestyle.
Where
years ago everyone hid in the shadows of a closed and closeted
community that was hard to find much less gain membership to.
There now exists an entire community that is devoted to education
and social interaction for those with these interests. The S&M
scene, which has been around for many years in the Gay leather
community has found a place in the mainstream in recent years.
The down side of course is that just about anyone can gain membership
by placing "Master" at the fore of their name.
If
you look about in mainstream entertainment in the last few years
you will see that D/s and S&M references abound. A tribute
to the growing popularity of the arts. Movies like "Exit
To Eden", show that regular people are a large part in this
community, and broaden the views of the public. Even main stream
action movies such as "The Crow-City of angels" are
flooded with D/s and S&M scenes. In this world of changing
ideas and ideals it is more important than ever to make clear
the concepts we base our "lifestyle" on, and the terms
we use to define it. Recent movies like "Strangeland"
and "8 MM" have again cast a dark light on our lifestyle,
but titillate at the same time. It is education that is needed
to counter these images of those in the lifestyle being criminals
and murderers. One of the reasons why I feel the terms Dominance
and Submission gained such a speedy rise and strong foothold in
the world as a defining term of these arts is to distance a segment
of people from the Issues following the S&M terms . At some
time in the resent past people redefined how they addressed this
issues of terms. Some not liking the negative connotations of
"sadomasochism", nor the connection to nonconsensual
acts redefined themselves and coined new terms. Some were to include.
D/s, B/d, Master/slave, and bondage. There is even a Pony or two
tossed in for good measure. Long before the heterosexual community
redefined its terms, the gay community, more specifically the
gay leather community came up with terms of their own. These are
Top and Bottom, "Daddie," and "Boy" or "Boi"
Bear and Puppy. I personally feel we owe a great debt to the leather
community as the fight we face today for the right to define our
own sexuality was spearheaded by many great "LeatherMen,Gay
Men who at times had to fight for their rights in their own communities
As well. Now the definitions of all of these terms are relative
to the person using them, and the personal way each and everyone
describes themselves. It also depends on their level of "play,"
skill, and their personal experience. No two people see any of
these terms in the same light, after all we are all individuals.
For the information of the reader, I will in short descriptions,
explain what each is in my opinion. ::: smile::: S&M is an
abbreviation for Sadist/masochist or sadomasochism. A sadist takes
pleasure in giving pain. This can be consensual or nonconsensual.
(The difference between a "lifestyle" sadist and a criminal).
A masochist derives pleasure from receiving pain. This pain can
be physical, mental, or sexual. Humiliation belongs in this category.
The idea of pain as pleasure is long known and the author prefers
the term "sensation." Pain is stubbing your toe, having
a skilled person flog you for an hour can be quite pleasurable,
not unlike a good hard massage. Terms used within S&M, BDSM,
and the D/s realms include, but are not limited to.
SS&C:
Safe, Sane & Consensual: First Coined in the san-mutopian
guardian this mantra has fast become the Anthem of the BDSM community.
Years ago we had nothing like this, in fact for a lot of years
the idea of negotiation was not at all popular, you either trusted
or you didn't. SS&C has been at the forefront of a drive to
have One simple and easy to understand rule in the BDSM community,
in fact this would be about the only rule, if not the definition
of the rule, that all seem to understand and agree upon, and has
in fact become a cornerstone In S&M,Leather, fetish, D/S and
BDSM in the last 15 years. Here is an attempt to define this term.
Safe:
Safe is being knowledgeable and skilled in the techniques Of whatever
are you are practicing, being aware of the safety concerns as
well as seeking to minimize and dangers that may come up. Taking
all precautions to assure that all parties are protected in case
anything should go wrong.
Sane;
Sane is harder to distinguish, as sanity is relative. What is
perfectly sane for one may be unheard of for another. But Knowing
the difference between fantasy and reality, between abuse and
a pleasurable pastime would be the cornerstones of this definition.
What can be done in fictional accounts such as leaving a person
bound and alone overnight is fiction, and would be insane in reality
and quite a risk. Basically knowing that you leave these extreme
acts to fantasy is being sane.
Consensual:
Clearly of the three this is the easiest to define, Consensual
is respecting the other persons stated and implied limits and
boundaries at all times. Consent is the main unbreakable rule
of BDSM, without consent what we do is abuse. Consent is the Most
important difference between Violence and BDSM. The same acts
that are pleasurable BDSM pastimes with informed consent would
be crimes without consent. One of the reasons "Safewords"
are So Popular in public play settings is that they are a clear
form of consent and to ignore a safeword one of the most criminal
acts in the BDSM communities.
Safe
Word: while I am on the subject, A Safeword is a Word or phrase
that would be "Out of place" and easily recognizable
as a signal to stop an activity. It is a very important Ongoing
sign that all participants agree to whatever activity is being
performed at the moment. It can and does at times become set aside
in long term relationships. But those who have been involved in
the lifestyle for a long time recognizes the importance of maintaining
this practice even in Long term Master Slave relationships.
Most
of these interactions include the person entering a "ROLE."
This is not to say that this role is not who you are, but it is
usually a Title or manner you only use in a scene context. No
one I know tells a traffic cop to call them Master. Some of these
titles include but are not limited to.
Top:
Usually a Sadist. The person in control of an S&M scene.
There need not even be a dominant dynamic though it is often
the case, it is not unknown for practitioners to "Switch"
in a scene.
Bottom:
The receiver in an S&M scene. Usually a Masochist.
Master:
One who receives consensual control over another.
Slave:
One who gives over control to a Master. Either totally or
on a negotiated basis.
Geek:
A step below Slave. One who is offers themselves to anyone
who wishes to control or abuse them.
Pain
Slut: A person who is in it for the sensation. One who has
little or no limits or limitations.
Daddy
or Daddie: A term which is interchangeable with top or master
but may involve some instances of infantilism or Incestuous
fantasy play. It is sometimes used as a gender bending term
In gay relationships. A female lesbian top will be referred
to as Daddie.
Boy
Or Boi: Again interchangeable with the terms submissive or
slave for the same reasons above. A female lesbian may Identify
as a Boi to denote that they are a male submissive at heart.
D/S:
An abbreviation for Dominance and Submission. This art involves
consensual power exchange. The dominant enjoys having dominion
over the body, mind, and spirit of a Submissive. The Submissive
enjoys the giving or the gift of that dominion to another.
This control can be sexual (the control of orgasmic response),
mental (mental bondage or demanding set tasks), or physical
(bondage). D/S often has a spiritual context as well, such
as the guiding of the submissive to a higher self. D/S and
S&M can involve the use of sensation (pain) to produce
a state of what is referred to as "Subspace." Subspace
can describe the feeling of being submissive to another, or
can describe a mild form of hypnotism produced by the bodies
reaction to sensation. This is sometimes known as "Spacing"
or "being under." In sensation "Play."
The body can produce "endorphins" in response to
"trauma," the pain of the act. Much like that which
is produced by running or ritual repetitive acts like chanting
or dancing. These opiates are a natural response by the body
to regulate pain and at times increase endurance to trauma.
Some seek this state in their sessions. For some "Subspace"
is used to increase the Submissives pleasure in the sexual
act which for most, either follows a "session" or
can be performed during a scene. Although a sensation session
can be a pleasure in and of itself. The reward for some only
being a calm floating feeling at the feet of their master.
Some D/S terms include but are not limited to.
Dominant:
One who controls another. The top in a D/S relationship.
Domme:
A female dominant.
Dominatrix:
Female. Another term interchangeable with dominant or master.
Some times used by those who practice SM as a professional
Dominatrix.
Pro:
Domme, Domina,Dominatrix, Dominant, or Master. One who makes
a business of S&M scening. Often accepting money or gifts
for their services. There are also pro Submissives, or slaves.
Domina:
Female dominant.
Mistress:
Female owner of a slave or submissive.
Master:
Male owner of a slave or submissive.
Headmaster:
One running a school, or leader of a group of masters.
GrandMaster:
Leader of a group of masters or leader of a chateau.
Lord:
One who holds dominion over a person or group of persons.
Marq:
French for lord.
Submissive:
One who submits to anothers will, either part time or full
time.
Pet:
One who is "kept"by a master or dominant.
Charge:
One learning to be a slave or submissive. Not owned but protected
by a house.
Slave:
One giving total control over to another in a consensual negotiated
relationship. In service to a person or establishment.
Acolyte:
One in service for the purpose of learning.
Chateau:
A house or group of people living the D/S Lifestyle, and/or
teaching the same, European term.
House:
A house or group of people living the D/S Lifestyle and/or
teaching the same, US term.
Hold:
A house or group of people living the D/S Lifestyle and/or
teaching the same, term from the middle ages.
D/S
is also, in this authors opinion the most ritualized art. Having
the most set ritual behavior. The submissive learning certain
rules in regards their behavior, and the dominant usually having
a title such as "Lord" or "Master," there
are as many forms of D/s as there are practitioners. Some even
go so far as to Base their Ideals of D/s on works of fiction of
such as the "Books of Gor" hence the name Gorean D/S.
All and all Books such as, "the story of O," the "Beauty"
series and the "Gor" books are just that, fiction, and
not the best guide to What D/S or the community really is, On
the other hand they are entertaining and if you with to Base your
"IDEALS" on them, with of course, Consensual Guidelines
It is your choice. But fiction works in fiction, real life is
a lot more complicated that the writers imagination. DS is simply
what it states, one partner is dominant the other submissive,
a state of nature. As we are all evolved from the animal world
the idea that one sex is dominant is the rule of thumb. One interesting
fact is that among birds it is most often the female who is dominant.
Among mammals the opposite is true. In humans of course either
sex Is dominant. Dominance and submission describes a state of
being however, not a thing you "do," though a dominant
does dominate the other partner, they more simply just have a
dominant nature which they express. I have found that most who
wish a submissive role are usually very dominant in their work
or vanilla lives. But within the realm of DS wish the release
of serving another. As such it is my opinion that Dom or Sub is
not a good description of a place in a relationship higherarchy,
such as Master or top, but it is used as such in today's world
and so I,as I have said, use it in that context as well. Pinning
any of these terms down is a personal matter because when you
involve humans and ideas things get complicated. Each path is
defined by the individual or group teaching their own way of doing
things. Gender is always factor. D/s practitioners also include
in their lifestyle, Bondage and S&M to varying degrees, and
quite a variety of other "arts" that are not completely
visible in the term D/S. All of this Makes the idea of terms a
buffet, taking that which works for you and leaving those terms
which don't, for those who wish to include them in their own path.
B&D
is an abbreviation for Bondage and discipline which describes
the mutual Pleasure of binding and sensation, At times the persons
enjoying this art also think of themselves involved one or more
of the other arts. But it is an art practiced in and of itself.
Some identifying in this manner may exclude all other aspects
of play. Most of the consensual arts include Binding of some kind,
be it rope play or collars and cuffs, Physical restraint is one
of the main ways to achieve that feeling of "helplessness"
and is a main component of most "Play" but is not a
prerequisite. Some who practice Bondage find it a spiritual act
in and of itself and no sensation (pain) is involved, Bondage
sessions can last for hours if the Practitioner is skilled and
the partner in good shape, Japanese rope bondage is Highly ritualized
and great care is taken in the final "look" of the bondage.
M/S
or Master and slave Is an older term that entails Much of what
the others do to a greater degree. The Idea being that the slave
gives over total control to the master including the right of
choice in what they do and how far they can go. Slavery is of
course only enforceable as far as the Slave wishes to go. A Slave
entering into service may set limits within the principals of
negotiation, Giving their service to One they feel will best take
care of them or will seek to care for them as they please their
master. But this is not always the case. A slave may wish to give
themselves to one whose only desire is self gratification, and
seek no pleasure for themselves but the pleasure of serving another.
Other
terms within BDSM the BDSM communities include but are not limited
to.
Lifestyle:
a term coined to describe those who feel they Live in a BDSM
role at all times
Lovestyle:
Bedroom BDSM or another description of the above
TPE:
total power exchange, such as in a Master Slave relationship.
24/7:
Living the lifestyle 24 hours a day 7 days a week
Dungeon:
a play space usually stocked with equipment and tools for
S&M; a play space.
Scene:
The period of time people engage in S&M or D/S play, the
act of playing.
Session:
A period of BDSM play often a set period of time.
Play:
the act of doing D/S or S&M
Playspace:
A room or Space that for a period of time is used for BDSM
Negotiation:
The act of setting Limits, Boundaries and discovering the
others desires and wants
Contract:
Placing those negotiated Limits and Boundaries to paper, Usually
for a set period of time
Journal:
A Diary written by a submissive about their journey
journaling:
the act of writing a journal
OTK:
Over the Knee. A spanking reference
Sensation:
Another word for pain
Tools:
whips, floggers, etc. the "tools" of S&M practices
Toys:
Another terms for tools
Flogging:
the act of using a flogger, Whipping
Flogger:
a Multi tailed Whip
Singletail:
a whip such as a bull whip, Signal Whip , A Single lashed
whip 2-8 feet long
Violetwand:
an electric tool that creates static electricity.
Tens
unit: a tool that emits electrical pulses through a Pad attached
to the skin
Cuffs:
wrist fasteners
Cat
o nines: a Nine tailed Flogger, usually braided
Count
downs: A Pavlovian effect to produce orgasms on command
Stocks:
A Medieval frame that holds the head and hands
Saint
Andrews: an X shaped frame for upright bondage
Post:
a Pole that has attachment points for BDSM Play
X-frame:
A large Cross set on its side with attachment Points for BDSM
play
Frame:
a Square frame for Bondage
Bondage
table: A table with rings down both sides
Cane:
a Rattan, Plastic,wood, or other material in the form of a
rod for spanking
Crop:
a Rod that has a leather slapper at the end.
Medical
play: Play that involves medical devices such as a speculum
or just about any play that involves Fluids. Can be a very
involved scene where people play " Doctor:"
Polyamorous:
a Love based relationship Involving three or more people
Pansexual:
either describing the Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian,trasgender community.
Or another term for Bisexual.
King
triad: a relationship of three people where the head is Male
Queen
triad: a relationship of three people where the head is Female
Stable:
a Group of Submissives or Slaves serving one master
Harem:
a Group of Submissives or Slaves serving one master
Pony:
someone enacts the Role of a Horse
Household:a
Group of Submissives or Slaves serving a master or masters
In one location.
Limits:
areas or acts that are not done.
Boundaries:
areas or acts that are frightening but may be tried
First
girl/Boy: the head slave or submissive in a household
Major
Domo: the Leader of a group of Submissives or slaves , usually
a switch.
Head
slave: Usually in charge of a group of slaves in a household
Chain:
a group of slaves
Some
other terms which can be a part of any of these arts or be
fetish tastes all their own include.
Agalmatophilia:
is the desire to have sex with a statue, doll,or mannequin.
Age Play: those who want to be an adult child.
Agoraphilia:
Defines a love of public sex play.
Apotemnophilia:
defines people who are aroused by the fantasy or act of losing
a limb such as an arm or leg or even genitalia.
Archnephilia:
is the use of spiders in the sexual act.
Auto
erotic asphyxia: is the very dangerous practice of seeking
sexual climax through the use of self strangulation.
Axillism:
is a fixation on arm pit hair or hair in general.
Bestiality:
also known as zoophilia defines those who find Animals attractive
as sexual partners.
Bondage:
is the practice of restraint for sexual purposes.
Bradycubia:
is the practice of finding release by having sex very slowly.
Breath
control: Obtaining sexual excitement from having another control
your oxygen intake
Capnolagnia:
is a fetish involving sexualizing watching others smoke.
Catheterophilia:
achieving sexual pleasure from having objects inserted into
the urethra. Such as metal, glass or rubber rods
Cat-fighting:
sexual excitement derived from watching women fight or wrestle.
CBT:
or Cock and Ball torture, deriving sexual excitement from
Bondage and torture of the male genitalia.
Chezolagnia:
deriving sexual excitement from a bowel movement. Chubby Chasers:
those who find women of size their sexual Ideal.
Climacophilia:
those who seek sexual excitement from falling.
Coitus
a chevel: sex on horseback or around horses.
Coitus
a mammillia: arousal from breast sex.
Coitus
a unda: excitement from having sex in water.
Coprolalia:
the art of talking dirty
Coprophilia:
sexual arousal from feces.
Coprophagy:
sexual arousal from ingesting feces
Crush
fetish: sexual arousal from being stepped upon or watching
things crushed by women such as small animals.
Dacryphilia:
excitement from seeing or feeling or tasting anothers tears.
Doraphilia:
a fetish for animal fur or skin , often Leather
Dysmorphophilia:
: People who gain sexual excitement from deformities such
as scars,hair-lips,dwarves,hunchbacks, burn victims and so
on
Exhibitionism:
arousal from being watched or exposing oneself.
Fisting:
the act of inserting the entire hand in the vagina or rectum
and closing into a fist.
Flatuphilia:
an interest in flatulence "farting"
Food
fetish: those who gain sexual arousal from eating or smearing
food on themselves or their partner
Foot
Fetish: sexual arousal from Feet
Retifism:
the sexual arousal from footwear
Forniphilia:
sexual arousal obtained by being an object or a piece of furniture
Frottage:
sexual arousal through rubbing oneself on strangers
Furries:People
who like dressing as animal or acting as same
Gerontophilia:
seeking elderly sexual partners
Giantess
fetish: sexual arousal from extremely tall or muscular women
Hierophilia:
the use of sacred objects for masturbation or profane acts
in a church "
Humiliation:
Eroticization of disgrace or weakness.
Infibulation:
Injecting saline into the scrotum of a male to cause swelling
Infantilism:
defines those who are aroused by being Adult Babies things
like suckling pacifiers, drinking bottles and wearing diapers
Klismaphilia:
the use of enemas for sexual excitement
Lactaphilia:
sexual arousal from breast milk
Lagnonector:
one who kills in order to have sex with the corpse
Maieusiophilia:
the desire to have sex with a pregnant woman.
Mucophagy
sexual arousal from nasal excretions
Mummification:
a form of bondage, being wrapped from head to toe in latex,
Plastic or other material.
Mysophilia:
sexual excitement from soiled undergarments or clothing
Necrophilia:
sexual excitement from sex with the dead
Nosophilia:
sexual excitement from sex with the terminally ill
Oculolingus:
sexual excitement from licking or kissing the eyes
Ophidicism:
sexual arousal from Serpents or snakes
Pediophilia:
a fetish for dolls, often confused with Pedophilia
Pedophilia:
sexual attraction to children, sometimes acted out in fantasy
play by consenting adults
Piercing:
placing rings through flesh
Play
Piercing: Placing needles in the skin or flesh on a temporary
basis
Phallophilia:
a fetish for a large penis also called size queens
Pie
fetish: those who like to be hit with pies
Poly:
an open relationship, or relationship with three or more people
Polyamorous:
wishing or having a multiple love relationship
Polyiterophilia:
the need to have more than one sexual partner to achieve orgasm<
Pony
Play: the desire to be a horse or train a human horse.
Psychrocism:
sexual arousal from being cold or having a cold partner
Roman
Showers: sexual arousal over being vomited upon
Taphephilia:
sexual arousal from being buried alive.
Urolagnia:
sexual arousal from being urinated upon.
Voyeurism:
deriving sexual pleasure from secretly watching others.
Food
fetish: a desire to get messy with food.
Many
of these definitions were created by the medical community, some
were not. And in explanation these definitions are limited because
they are narrow in scope. Some of these were added for interest
or for fun. A person can like many variations on these themes.
a Pedophile is a criminal of course but someone gaining sexual
arousal from acting as a child or enjoying his adult partner in
that role is safely acting out a fantasy.
This
author feels that each person must chose their own definitions
of self, In example I call Myself a "artistic Consensual
Sensation practitioner" which in reality is Just a Politically
correct term to describe a Modern "sadist" but one I
feel fully describes "MY" Pleasure to others who may
not like what sadist brings to mind. Each of us can do the same
by coining whatever terms we feel comfortable with, be it Known
terms such as Dominant, Top, Master, Submissive, Masochist, Bottom,
Boy, Pony, or any other. Or by inventing our own terms for our
own pleasures. We in this Lifestyle are Nonconformists for the
most part,but oddly wish to conform to a rules based ideal. One
of my axioms, that I came up with for the "biker" community
Years ago also fits those in the BDSM community as well, "
the problem with nonconformity is we are human, and as Humans
we feel we Must be Nonconformists Who conform to some form of
Nonconformity" we are more comfortable being different with
others who are like us. In inventing our own Terms we can be true
nonconformists, Make up a term that describes YOU, it is not only
your right but a great way to define your tastes. A few I personally
Have heard are .... Active Role: Power Master, Erotic Sadist,
Strict Dominant, Loving SadoController, Japanese WebWeaver, Sadistic
Binder, Sensual SadoDisciplinarian , S/M Switch-On and as My Submissive
refers to me at times A Life support device for a Whip.
What
I have tried to impart on you the reader are some ways we in the
BDSM , D/s, M/s and leather communities describe ourselves, as
well as many terms used to describe various fetishes and desires.
The author awaits the day when terms, descriptions, sexual preferences
do not separate us but unite us, bring us together in what is
common among us. Until that day arrives be content to define yourself
and show respect and courtesy to those who define themselves differently.
And always remember you are what you eat. So you could be a dominant
or submissive and not know it.