May/June 2003
The Sadist With A Mean Streak

by John Gault




The beatings will not end even when attitudes improve.

Laura and I were living together for about six months when she asked how she could contribute to my income. She was busy learning how to live with me and cope with my personality, thrilled with her new life and learning what it means to be a slave. Together we had found a new outlook on life in the bliss of having each other. While most of our time in the early months together was consumed with happiness there were many times where each of us struggled. For her it was the idea of not contributing enough to my happiness and easing the struggles of life. We had many in-depth conversations along those lines to which I tried to tell her that my work was a necessity, a burden for sure, but financially imperative. Her conclusion was that her staying home making my house an empire was not contributing to the finances and in many ways was an additional drain on income. So the question of what can she do to help contribute arouse.

My first response was “not much” in addition to what she was already struggling to learn. How to keep my house, how to cook the foods I enjoy, and how to make herself the slut I desire to be with. After several more conversations she asked about starting up a website. She had wanted to start a porn website for a few years before she met me and I had run a few porn websites prior to her living with me. This was an idea which I thought had potential. She would be home taking care of my house and my needs, but could also be running a website in her spare time. The idea had real potential and we began planning how and what the site would be. Initially we had more questions than answers; how to design a site, how to make money on the Internet, what the site would offer, how to setup and accept credit cards, legal options and restrictions, and many other questions. Like most everything I have ever done in my life I decided to jump in and learn to swim as we tread water.

Putting together a BDSM website, as far as content was difficult. There are so many differing points of view, so many twists and turns on lifestyle, terminology, and the growing popular SSC and PC BDSM groups. We finally settled on just being us and not building a site for everyone. Laura was so new to M/s and S&M that she was heart felt to share her learning experiences. She also wanted to share what she was learning about the Sadists and Dominants she was now exposed to. Its logic was sound and we both had many ideas to contribute so this was the plan we accepted and began working on. We soon solved the problems of html coding, obtaining the URL, and finding a hosting company we could afford. Her hopes of contributing financially were nearing and she was engulfed in the project. It became more of a chore to get her to stop working than it had previously been to get her to get something done. She never stops coming up with new ideas and features for the site. It wasn’t long before I found myself with two jobs instead of just the one I had before.

Laura realized how much time and effort it was taking for us to get the website operating and she began to feel bad. When we talked about it I explained to her that I rarely put in such an effort to something I don’t want to. The website was thrilling to me. The sites I had before this were little more than “Free Sites” which generate little income in comparison to cost of operating them. The word “Free” is not that the site costs nothing to operate, nor is it setup to generate zero income. Learning how to run a free site did help me in many ways to opening up the BDSM site we were working on now and was far more interesting as it was directly related to my life. With that she felt better about the mounting work and efforts but she became even more anxious to see the new site generating income. Equally frustrating for her in addition to the time and effort was the amount of money it was costing to implement the site. We had invested several thousand dollars in just the first few months of designing the site. The costs continued to increase as did the time investment as the next several months came and went.

It was about the fourth or fifth month of this project when we begin in earnest developing content for the site. Content is for me the real payoff to design and development. What content really meant was getting pictures and video taken and ready for the site. It equated to her having to be brutally tortured and me to torture her three and four times every week. We eventually got to a point in time when we only had to shoot twice per week but for several months her torture was every two days or less. The bruising was tremendous and her body was in constant pain from top of the head to tip of her toes. My imagination for torture techniques has never found a dead spot and her fear of what I would come up with next increased with each needle, electrical shock, burn, and knot. Her state of mind began to diminish as the inevitable chemical imbalance took hold. Depression, loss of balance, and lack of appetite took hold of her and we drove onward through the mental and physical depravity. Some of the struggles we had during this time were that our scene or sessions were always filed and photographed. She asked if we would ever just do it for us again or if it always had to be content. I welcomed her to her new life and the reality was it just doesn’t matter if I torture her with or without the cameras. That romantic side of her had to find a new home. For me I enjoyed the camera running in the background and the still photography shooting away at her dilemma. Later when we would edit the content she would relive the event, remembering the trauma and fear as well as the pain that was captured in each picture. To this day it brings back the fresh memory even from pictures which are three or four years old.

Eventually we had the technical problems worked out, the merchant side of the business and legal structures in place and the site was launched. It was only two days old when the first sales began to come in. She was feeling confident that she would now carry on and contribute to my income. First to payoff the money invested and then to add to the standard of living I enjoyed. What we first discovered was that most people who buy membership to a BDSM site are not, for the most part, people who are living or interested in living such a lifestyle. We gathered data and statistics on customers and visitors and the facts revealed that most of them are interested in the kink more so than the desire. In many cases the content we provided was too extreme and brutal for what they had hoped. Imagine trying to masturbate to a pierced and bruised labia. I hadn’t considered the customer was looking for masturbation material as S&M and even bondage is not sexual to me. We had learned our first lesson in Internet commerce. If the intent is to generate money than hard BDSM content will not produce much income. It was clearly time to beat her ass and torture her tits because of the under sight. And, yes I did photograph and get many good stills of her beating.