May/June 2002
Your Kink - My Kink?
by miria hunter


I consider myself a very tolerant person. I do not think what I do is better than anyone else. However, I do find myself becoming angry at one thing. I find that I am intolerant of other people’s intolerance. I find myself wanting to jump in and help those I see being attacked just because they do not believe the way someone else does. I find it truly appalling that, in the BDSM community, where just about anything goes, that we still cannot find a way to respectfully “agree to disagree”. The vanilla world would rather we just cease to exist with our ‘sick and perverted ways’. What is it about us that we cannot at least stand united, even if our private opinions may differ from those of our neighbors?

Does it REALLY matter what one calls oneself, as long as they are true to themselves? So what if you don’t agree with what the opinions of others on what a slave or sub is. They are only words attached to what someone feels and who are WE to tell THEM how they feel? What business is it of yours if someone likes scat play? As long as it has not been pushed on you - where is the harm?

There are 3 parts to BDSM and for those of you who do not know what they are I will explain. First is the “B/d” aspect, literally meaning Bondage and discipline. They may or may not go together, depending on whom you talk to. However, I think all can agree they constitute the first part. The Second part is “D/s”, which many just do not seem to see. This aspect means Domination and submission. It also encompasses the Master/slave relationship as well. It may, or may not, include other aspects of BDSM. However, if you are into this part, you are into part of what BDSM stands for. Finally, and importantly, is the S/m part, standing for Sadomasochism. This behavior encompasses a wide range of the lifestyle, but does not necessarily include the first 2 parts.

As we all learn and grow, we find that we change. Most times this growth is for the better. However, sometimes we tend to become narrow minded and start believing our way is the only way. Usually, this change is where problems and arguments arise. I, for one, love a great discussion on the different ways everyone experiences their passion. It provides me ideas I had not previously considered and I am eager to pass them on to others to consider as well. I like to think that I am constantly growing and expanding my horizons. I also pray, to whatever powers that be, that I never stop learning and experiencing new aspects of life. If this prayer is not answered, my fear is that I will become like the narrow-minded people I have trouble tolerating.

I am a slave who is the property of her Master. I am His to do with as He pleases. I am also, what I term an erotic masochist (meaning I won’t hit myself with a hammer just to feel pain) but I do enjoy the pain Master gives me. I also love bondage and discipline to a point. Beyond that point, it is Master’s choice. This is my kink. Is it yours? It really does not matter to me, as I will read what you say and hopefully I will learn from it.

My kink is better than your kink? Never! It is just our way of doing things. What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end, OUR kink and we really need to learn to stand together and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity. If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love, how can we expect others to look at us any differently when we cannot even do that with each other? Remember United we stand, Divided we fall.

Rick's miria