motivates me the most is the trust and respect that I have for my
Master. I have gained this respect and trust through our relationship,
and it continues to grow as we walk down this road together. We
have more aspects of D/s and, or, DD in our relationship with some
BDSM parts. But it all works and that is what is the most important
thing. I know that at times I am a brat and we deal with this. Having
discipline in our home helps both of us to communicate more openly
and emotionally. For it allows us to renew and strengthen different
aspects of our relationship. I look onto my Master to lead me to
a happier, more emotionally stable, loving, sexual relationship.
love my Master for his willingness to help me grow and to change
different things in my life that I wish to change, as well as some
things that he wishes me to change. As I grow and change, I gain
more aspects of myself and who and what I am. I just keep trying
and, at times, I am surprised with what I see or find. I know at
times Master can and does call for a discipline eveningÖI do not
like them at all, but they are important to our relationship. These
evenings also allow the trust and respect to grow as we work on
new things. I do not have to do anything wrong for us to have a
discipline evening, itís him showing me that he has the right to
this and that he will use it.
I will tell you that it is motivating. For if he calls for one and
finds out I have done something wrongÖwell itís no longer discipline
but an evening of punishment. I am best off to just go and tell
him when I have done something wrong then to ever have him find
it out. For to tell him would just get me a punishment session,
and not telling him gains me an entire evening of punishment. Itís
not fun and itís something I work hard at to not have happen.
and punishments are different from each other. They both provide
different aspects to our relationship. I know that my Master does
not enjoy punishment any more then I do, and itís never a good time.
Itís a time of bonding and a closeness that enters through it. I
canít say that I ever enjoy pain, for I do not. But spanking does
bring a satisfaction to me, once itís done. It is an emotional need
for me, and to date I have not found anything else that can bring
this feeling to light. Our relationship, the emotional connection,
is not based on spanking on itís own. Itís more the interaction
of the two of us coming together. But I also know and understand
if a spanking is to have any effect it must be hard enough that
I do not wish to have another one. Be it the discipline or punishment
(not to say itís always a spanking) is only a manifestation of that
connection. There is so much more intertwined in this relationship
then spanking or what ever might be used. There is a spiritual dwelling
that I thrive from in the fact of who and what I am. I use a number
of different things to allow this to grow and thrive on my own,
to become the submissive that I long to be.
all discipline is spanking, there are time-outs to a different part
of the house alone, essays, writing lines, loss of privileges, loss
of computer time, having to do some chore you really hate (like
the dishes). For the most part, the things that will get me into
trouble are talking back, not doing my homework or doing it without
an effort put forth to get a good grade and not respecting someone
that I know Master wishes me too. Just the general breaking of computer
rules or going off on someone online. (Master frowned upon this
one greatly.) I am allowed total freedom online and ,for the most
part, the only rules we use are on mIRC as I am to have permission
to enter and leave any room. Well, at times itís a pain, but I have
found that if I am online when Master is away, well it makes me
have to stop and think of him, as I most of the time have to explain
to the room that itís Masterís rule so I do need to ask. I do not
have restrictions to whom I can or not talk to, that is up to me,
unless I do something wrong and I am limited those things. Master
knows for the most part who I talk with and whom I e-mail, I work
with a number of people online and off. Itís a part of who and what
I am, as is us going to different places for a Demo. Master allows
me a lot of freedom when I am behaving but I know if I act up, things
can and will be taken away. So to say my leash is shortened and
it does not regain itís length until I have proven that I am working
on changing my behavior.
times when I am not paying attention too well, there is this bath
thing, where Master makes me take a bath and he totally washes me,
I hate this. I love the attention and his being there but not him
washing me and making me do it. He now has a thing about going to
bed, and this has been an issue for some time. I do not sleep that
much, and itís getting somewhat better, I do not argue or talk back
near as much when he tells me itís time to head to bed. I still
hate it so much itís not funny. It just makes me feel like I am
8 years old and being told when to go off to bed. I do understand
this as at times I am lucky if I get 3 hours of sleep a night and
this has been known to go on for weeks at a time. Itís his caring
about me that is showing through, and I do love it.
receive a message from my Master through discipline as well as through
punishment that tells me that he loves me and cares about me and
that he cares about what and who I am becoming. The reasonability
is not just on my Master. I have to be honest and trustworthy and
100% accountable for my own actions at all times. I have to go to
him and confront him when I have done something wrong or am having
trouble. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do
in my life. Itís not been an easy thing to learn, but itís the best
thing I have ever learned. Most important, discipline allows me
a way to make amends and ways to see that changing my behavior is
important to him, and to our relationship.
my Master is confronted with some totally unacceptable behavior,
it is his job to deal with this and to take action or to make sure
that itís made known that some action will be taken later when time
permits it. He needs to do whatever possible to put an end to the
unwanted or unacceptable behavior. At times this may seem harsh
or even that it carries a double punishment. For if we are out,
I know that it will be dealt with at that time in some way and that
when we return home a more appropriate punishment will be handed
out. For if this aspect of D/s or DD is to work, consistency within
the discipline or punishment is needed and necessary. As is his
keeping my respect through his being consistent. For discipline
to be effective, it must happen as close to the wrong doing as possible.
I think some caution needs to be used here, as to where you are
and the types of people that you may be around at the time. But
it works for us and I know and think in time I will learn to never
test my Master when we are out and about. Itís not ever going to
be a good time for such a thing. If there is no consistency and
follow through to the set and agreed upon rules and guidelines his
word begins to mean nothing. They become empty and will mean nothing.
Then the next time it comes to breaking the rules it would be much
easier for me to break them.
dominant man who acknowledges his responsibility to be a leader
and caring disciplinarian, does have some noteworthy similarities
to a parent. A women who chooses to give herself to his leadership
and discipline, however, is not a child. She has the right to ask
a great deal of him. His authority is not a license to flaunt her
reasonable expectations of mutual accountability. He does have a
responsibility to be in charge of himself before he can ask for
the immense gift of trust she might render. He needs to earn his
authority if he expects it to be respected.Ē (Ted 1DD)
not that my Master ever needs to prove that he has control over
me, he does not. But at times I need the emotional release and attention
that will allow me to grow and move onto the next step in our lives.
I know at times it has been used this way when I am not in the right
mindset and I need to be drawn back to the place where I should
be. Itís a reminder of who and what I am and whom I have chosen
to belong to. Itís all about give and take. It is a two-way street
that we have invoked into this relationship. We have agreed on certain
things and it is his job to see that it stays that way. My Master
must set an example that cannot be challenged, which I know is far
easier said then done. I will never demand perfection for I know
that no one is perfect. Just now my Master has a responsibility
to see that I act according to the rules and guidelines which have
been set within our relationship. Discipline is an ongoing part
of the relationship, it may not show like it can on my bottom, but
it will show itself in the commitment to our relationship.
is love! and this holds true in all aspects of the world, not just
the D/s, DD, or BDSM. The one receiving the discipline is teaching
the other about responsibility and the one giving the discipline
is teaching the other self-discipline. Itís a psychological play
of profound love and respect. I thrive and grow from this in our
relationship. Itís adding to who and what I am, itís a connection
building tool that makes my world go Ďround. Masterís dominance
is a gift that he has given to me. Allowing my Master a leadership
role and, through discipline, I have a reminder of this role and,
at times, that is just what I need. Discipline is the key to my
emotional release. Itís a reset button that only my Master can set.
Discipline is not just pain, but it can be. Pain is a tool that
allows the discipline to work if you allow it to have itís place.
Discipline has a number of places in my life. Sometimes itís a rest
to bring refocus, other times it is to strengthen and show me something.
Sometimes itís just to allow me to cleanup and move on to the next
part of the relationship. I am also good about disciplining myself,
when need be, but allowing others to help just seems to make it
all work much better.
do not find anything erotic in discipline or punishment, for the
most part, I hate it. Submitting to it is a challenge all in itself.
Even if itís writing lines, it can invoke an inner fight and struggle
for me to accept this and to complete it. I do understand that some
are true masochists and itís a powerful excitement for them. It
becomes erotic play. Discipline and punishment hurt in different
ways. And a spanking should hurt physically, and this pain is what
brings me to the emotional link between us. It is a true sexual
connection and an intimacy that allows me to change and move on.
This does not mean that I have a sexual response or that it turns
erotic in any way. Itís the connection that adds to our intimacy.
My gift to my Master is my trust, respect, and my submissionÖ which
comes from my heart and not the bedroom.
in this all I feel loved, cared about, and safe. Itís the emotional
things I need to move on and to be the person that I know and long
to beÖI love the passionate part my Master plays once itís all overÖNO!
we do not have sex or, at least, not right away. Time is needed
to allow me to process all that has happened and taken place. We
sit and I am held and cared for. We talk and it is a time of closeness
and me just sucking in his tenderness and care. Itís heartfelt and
it allows all of it to connect and finish off right.
may find that they are having erotic feelings through the course
of discipline and punishment. Giving into these feelings I donít
see doing any relevant good in the long term. You need to not allow
these feelings to take away from the discipline or the punishment
at hand. This could lead to a world of never ending discipline or
punishment and also to an abusive relationship. As one is always
being bad to have the thrill of being spanked, or the other doing
it just because he/she enjoys it and itís a sexual turn-on. These
feelings of intimacy may involve true erotic feelings in you both,
but rape and quick sex can bring about the same feelings! Having
short term fixes can bring about long term problems, so it is really
because you get a thrill out of spanking or receiving it does not
mean that acting on these feelings will help either of you in any
way. Be honest and open about what your feeling with each other.
But do not forget your place and the task at hand. This is the issue
and it needs to be completely dealt with first and foremost. Give
it some time and then act on your sexual intimate acts. You started
with a goal and an objective. You need to see this through and not
allow your tempting feelings to change the direction of the first
course of action. Focus and be open and honest with each other.
Itís okay. And at times, different turn-ons will arise (no pun intended
here J) but itís how we deal with them and communicate with each
other that will keep things in the right order and allow them to
grow for the best in the relationship.
of this is the true motivation to our lives and it goes on with
lots of communication and us renegotiating. Some times this can
take a few days to get things all worked out and back on track,
but it takes both of us, neither of us can do it alone. I know the
more we try different things and the more Master sees what works
and what does not his security level will grow. He will, in time,
never truly enjoy disciplining or punishing me, and I know this,
but it makes me more aware of my behavior and increases my willingness
to grow, learn, and change to please him. Master is caring and I
know that he will do most anything for me. I enjoy the flowers just
because or when I have been good. The added little things he does
to make me know that he is proud of me goes a long way.
feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
i will do what i can to help anyone, and i would like to know what
you A/all think also. Thank you for allowing me to share with you