May/June 2001
Mindset of a Submissive
by devoted angel

In the outside world of vanilla, people see our life style as crazy.  They see a submissive as week and a Dominant as just a bully and an abuser.  It is sad to know that they canít open their eyes to see that a Dominant is one of the most caring individuals and takes on an extreme amount of responsibility in being such.  As goes for the submissive she/he has to be strong within her/himself and know just what it is she/he wants, and who she/he is. T/they both give a gift to each other that is so precious and should always be held dear.  It is a gift that should be cherished, protected and honored.

The submissive gives the gift of submission and their greatest joy is only to please their Master/Mistress.  Sounds easy right?  Well in order to give that gift she/he must first know who and what they are.  They must also know their wants, needs and desires, and be strong in those beliefs.  They must be strong enough to voice their wants, needs and desires openly, honestly and sincerely.  For if they are not willing to be open, honest and sincere then they can get hurt by becoming involved with someone that is not right for them.  They must be willing to open their eyes to all that can be. 

The Dominant gives the gift of protection, guidance, nurturing and growth and wishes also to only please their submissive.  This sounds easy too right?  Well in order for a person to be Dominant, they must be willing to take on the roll of lover, protector, teacher, friend and they must be able to listen and understand what the submissive is saying.  They as well must be strong in knowing who and what they are.  They must be willing to voice their wants, needs, and desires openly, honestly and sincerely as well. 

B/both the Dominant and the submissive must be willing to always be honest and open with each other for respect and trust to build between them. Respect and trust is a very important aspect within this relationship and it canít be a one sided street it has to be on both sides.  It is an aspect that has to be there for the relationship to work.

B/both must be willing to communicate and not be afraid of bad reactions from the other.  B/both must also practice the 3 Rís of respect for everyone, respect for themselves and take responsibility for their own actions.

Remember that E/each the Dominant and submissive are human first and no one is perfect. T/they should be careful not to let T/their passion for what they want to over rule T/their wants needs and desires. And further more T/they should always remember to keep it SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL.