erotic emotion/dark whisper
This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect
the opinions of the site’s management)
is abuse? Is it limited to flying hands and bruised flesh?
Hell, if that were the case, consensual interaction within
the scope of BDSM would be considered abuse by any yard stick.
it abuse when one holds power over another? Again... that
definition simply doesn't fit within the life that we CHOOSE
to live. Those who seek Dominance and submission do everything
they can to attain just such an imbalance of personal power.
I’m talking about here, though, is when the very person that
a submissive relies on as a source of security and strength
(their Dominant)… lies or manipulates the very submission
of another in an attempt to gain a sense of personal power.
a dominant leads a submissive on, knowing full well that the
submissive believes the interest of the dominant is honest
and real, when the reality is something far less than believed,
then that is a form of abuse. Mental and emotional abuse.
When the Dominant is asking for more and more submission,
yet is aware that they simply don't want to get "too
involved" with the submissive -- that is also a form
of mental and emotional abuse.
question then becomes why is there this deliberate desire
on the part of the Top/Dominant to direct the submissive to
give everything they can possibly give -- believing that they
are working toward a goal -- when there is no goal, only the
fleeting pleasure of the Dominant?
is going to require some deeper thinking by anyone who reads
this, as the immediate thought pops into the mind of: “It’s
the Dominant’s decision as to how to deal with their submissive.”
And that, my dear friends… is claptrap. That is NOT honest,
nor does it foster growth on the part of the submissive or
for the Dominant, to be honest. It does just the opposite
someone (no matter the orientation or even the lifestyle)
finds that they have been used and lied to in this way, it
has the tendency to affect the self esteem and personal strength
of the person on a fundamental level. Questions arise about
themselves, which isn’t where the questions belong. Yes, each
person allows themselves to be led down a path that’s not
positive or growth oriented, but here’s where the responsibility
submissives, we are taught that to really “submit” means that
we accept the directions that the dominant takes us - kind
of what submission means; doing what is directed despite personal
desires and feelings of control.
past those conditioned responses can be very, very difficult;
particularly if there is not a solid system of support. Talking
about how one needs to be “strong within” sounds pretty good,
but doesn’t address just how to make that happen. (again,
this isn’t the focus of THIS article, and could take hours
to properly explain)
to the point where a person feels cornered and reverts back
to a childlike state in some aspects… doesn’t happen overnight
- it is a steady progression that builds upon what is learned
from previous interactions. And like the child whose hand
has been burned from touching a hot surface, there is an impression
of “hey, I’ve been burned before by trying to stand up for
myself, I’m not going THERE again.”
like that child, the submissive becomes so afraid to say or
do much of anything “in case” the Dominant doesn’t like it,
that more and more of the concept of submission through strength
becomes difficult, if not impossible, to attain.
find that I can’t see anything healthy in that type of relationship
- at all.
it abusive of a Dominant to take advantage of an emotionally
crippled submissive? I think it is.
in this world of immediate gratification, the prospect of
working with these emotional issues just takes too long for
many “Dominants/Tops” to deal with. So the cycle continues
with the submissive trying to “hide” their issues. This is
another aspect that needs to be looked at from a much deeper
than surface level.
things right can result in some very powerful connections
and emotions; if both really ARE looking out for the well
being of the other. Isn’t that the point?