by Celeste aka BitaTruble

I would like to train to become a Domme first and than a sub. My boyfriend and I have agreed that he will dominate me and others as well. He's not interested in being submissive.


I'd like to offer the suggestion that since you are interested in both sides, that you reverse the order of your training. Since you have a partner that is willing to Top and unwilling to bottom, it would probably make things a lot easier on both of you. I would suggest that you both make a list of what you "both" want/need and desire from each side of the relationship and from each other. What do you hope to gain.. I.E. technique, mindset, a lifelong commitment to a BDSM lifestyle etc. Keep the lines of communication open and start exploring together. Joining a local support group can help you in learning how to keep each other safe and do as much reading as you can on your own. I have long felt that "newbie" does not equal child. You are both adults and by respecting each others views, allowing for the inevitable
mistakes and striving for self acceptance in which ever side you feel most comfortable.. (or both sides!) you will go far in finding a lifestyle that is satisfying to both of you and brings you joy.

Good luck!

Celeste

Dear Bita,

We were just wondering what would be the safest places to cut..how deep, using what.....etc. if you know of any links to send me to in the meantime, that would be nice.

very eager student

Thanks for writing Eager,

About 80% of the body is OK for sharpie play. The outside of the arms are OK, but not the inside. Never cut on the neck or face, but the back, buttocks and breasts are safe. Avoid the area behind the knees but the bottom of the
feet and hands are both fine. Down both sides of the line of the body are fine as well. Basic superficial cutting is fairly safe and before you get into the more intense play, do that a few times, see how you heal and take it from there. In any event, your own tolerance is going to tell you how deep a cut you can take. You don't want to go much past the fatty dermal layers of the skin because you are getting into the meat of your body which takes longer to heal and if you are not careful, you'll require stitches. Baby steps are best. Long thin strokes are better to avoid scarring (unless that's something you want). Keep aloe on hand for after care and use it liberally during the healing process. Michael and I play with exacto knives, needles and bowie knives. All three have their own unique sharp sensation. Avoid serrated edges, any knife with a flaw that may catch on the skin, any knife that is dull and never reuse needles. Make sure to re-sterilize the knives after play. For beginners, I would say start with the exacto knife. It's fairly small and hard to go to deep with it. A smaller blade is going to give more control in the beginning ... just something to keep in mind.

For your first session, (and I'm assuming you are playing with people or persons who have no concerns regarding HIV, etc.), you'll want to do a cleansing wash of the area. Iodine works well if you are not allergic to it, but there are a number of antiseptics on the market that will work just as well. A "wash" is two passes over the area you are cutting lasting 15-20 seconds each. This is for YOUR safety so do it! Sterilize the instrument that you will use for the cutting. If a knife, make sure it is VERY, VERY sharp and you can sterilize it by boiling it in water for no less than 15 minutes. Be aware that as soon as the air hits any surface, it is no longer considered sterile, but be careful not to touch the knife to any surface before your skin and it should be OK. There is risk in everything we do so as long as you are aware of it, you can make an informed decision on whether or not it's something you want to do.

Start with a very superficial cut. It hurts a lot more than you would think. Depending on if you want to draw a lot of blood or not do a warm up. If you do want a lot of blood a nice flogging on the back and ass will help bring the blood to the surface and you will bleed more. If you don't then flog a body part that you are not going to cut and there will be less blood. Even very thin, superficial cutting will leave enough of a mark that you can write words or do designs and get a nice picture. Keep in mind that the more fatty tissue you have over an area, the less it will hurt and the less it will bleed. The ass and breasts will hurt less then the back. The insides of the thighs are fairly sensitive but will not bleed as much because of the extra layers of fat there. If you have the opportunity, I highly recommend you go to an actual demo or take a class in the art. It is one of the more intense scenarios, but also one of the more dangerous. If you find that you are NOT enjoying it by all means call your safeword and stop. Not everyone likes everything and there is nothing wrong with finding you have a new limit. Michael and I both found one the other day while we were watching Jerry Springer. Roman Showers are a limit! More power to the people that play.

Celeste