for those times
when you're having troubles
by Celeste aka BitaTruble
I would like to train to become a
Domme first and than a sub. My boyfriend and I have agreed that he will
dominate me and others as well. He's not interested in being submissive.
I'd like to offer the suggestion that since you are interested in both
sides, that you reverse the order of your training. Since you have a partner
that is willing to Top and unwilling to bottom, it would probably make
things a lot easier on both of you. I would suggest that you both make
a list of what you "both" want/need and desire from each side
of the relationship and from each other. What do you hope to gain.. I.E.
technique, mindset, a lifelong commitment to a BDSM lifestyle etc. Keep
the lines of communication open and start exploring together. Joining
a local support group can help you in learning how to keep each other
safe and do as much reading as you can on your own. I have long felt that
"newbie" does not equal child. You are both adults and by respecting
each others views, allowing for the inevitable
mistakes and striving for self acceptance in which ever side you feel
most comfortable.. (or both sides!) you will go far in finding a lifestyle
that is satisfying to both of you and brings you joy.
We were just wondering what would be the safest places to cut..how deep,
using what.....etc. if you know of any links to send me to in the meantime,
that would be nice.
very eager student
Thanks for writing Eager,
About 80% of the body is OK for sharpie play. The outside of the arms
are OK, but not the inside. Never cut on the neck or face, but the back,
buttocks and breasts are safe. Avoid the area behind the knees but the
bottom of the
feet and hands are both fine. Down both sides of the line of the body
are fine as well. Basic superficial cutting is fairly safe and before
you get into the more intense play, do that a few times, see how you heal
and take it from there. In any event, your own tolerance is going to tell
you how deep a cut you can take. You don't want to go much past the fatty
dermal layers of the skin because you are getting into the meat of your
body which takes longer to heal and if you are not careful, you'll require
stitches. Baby steps are best. Long thin strokes are better to avoid scarring
(unless that's something you want). Keep aloe on hand for after care and
use it liberally during the healing process. Michael and I play with exacto
knives, needles and bowie knives. All three have their own unique sharp
sensation. Avoid serrated edges, any knife with a flaw that may catch
on the skin, any knife that is dull and never reuse needles. Make sure
to re-sterilize the knives after play. For beginners, I would say start
with the exacto knife. It's fairly small and hard to go to deep with it.
A smaller blade is going to give more control in the beginning ... just
something to keep in mind.
For your first session, (and I'm assuming you are playing with people
or persons who have no concerns regarding HIV, etc.), you'll want to do
a cleansing wash of the area. Iodine works well if you are not allergic
to it, but there are a number of antiseptics on the market that will work
just as well. A "wash" is two passes over the area you are cutting
lasting 15-20 seconds each. This is for YOUR safety so do it! Sterilize
the instrument that you will use for the cutting. If a knife, make sure
it is VERY, VERY sharp and you can sterilize it by boiling it in water
for no less than 15 minutes. Be aware that as soon as the air hits any
surface, it is no longer considered sterile, but be careful not to touch
the knife to any surface before your skin and it should be OK. There is
risk in everything we do so as long as you are aware of it, you can make
an informed decision on whether or not it's something you want to do.
Start with a very superficial cut. It hurts a lot more than you would
think. Depending on if you want to draw a lot of blood or not do a warm
up. If you do want a lot of blood a nice flogging on the back and ass
will help bring the blood to the surface and you will bleed more. If you
don't then flog a body part that you are not going to cut and there will
be less blood. Even very thin, superficial cutting will leave enough of
a mark that you can write words or do designs and get a nice picture.
Keep in mind that the more fatty tissue you have over an area, the less
it will hurt and the less it will bleed. The ass and breasts will hurt
less then the back. The insides of the thighs are fairly sensitive but
will not bleed as much because of the extra layers of fat there. If you
have the opportunity, I highly recommend you go to an actual demo or take
a class in the art. It is one of the more intense scenarios, but also
one of the more dangerous. If you find that you are NOT enjoying it by
all means call your safeword and stop. Not everyone likes everything and
there is nothing wrong with finding you have a new limit. Michael and
I both found one the other day while we were watching Jerry Springer.
Roman Showers are a limit! More power to the people that play.