by Michael

Thanks to the search feature on Yahoo Messenger, I found the kajira that I would come to own and name Mika. Only days before my finding her in January of 1999 had she added the word kajira to her profile. I would occasionally search for kajira in the southwest and found them a rare commodity. Many discussions have been conducted concerning the differences between kajira and slaves and submissives so I will not address it here. I will only say that I seek kajira. At the time of our initial online meeting she was collared to a master of the Pow Wow virtual tavern The Silver Sirik. She loved him deeply and was looking forward to meeting him in real life just seven months later during a Gorean gathering in Denver the following July. She was very knowledgeable in the ways of Gorean D/s.  Having been taught the positions and serves while serving as a red silk on line. When we first began chatting on Yahoo and on ICQ our conversations were very polite and consisted of very generic topics ranging from the weather to discussions of the Gor books.  As the days passed we learned more about each other and I came to believe that I had finally found the kajira that I had sought for three years. People that knew me began to hear of my plans to win the heart of this girl and place my collar around her beautiful neck. During our on line chats I became more bold and discussed how a girl could be captured and taken away by a passing Tarnsman if she was to walk the high walls of the city. I even sent her a cyber skeleton key to open the cyber collar she wore.  Her cyber –master was becoming more aloof on line and would not come see her in the tavern for days at a time. In March she went to Denver for a family wedding and learned that the reason for his disappearance is that he was recently married and had a child on the way. She was crushed. She sensed that something was wrong but she loved him and wanted him to feel the same way.

When I learned of her master’s deceit I was very upset for her and at the same time elated because fate had opened a door that until now had been all but locked. She is kajira however and waited for her master to remove his cyber collar from her neck. She remained loyal to her cyber collar even though he would not respond to her on ICQ and seldom came to the tavern. We began to discuss meeting real life. At first of course it was to be a public meeting. And because of various problems that arose I was delayed until June 15, 1999. That is the day we finally met real life. We had grown very close both on line and on the phone. So our first meeting was at her home 120 miles away. She set up all of the appropriate safeguards. She arranged for a friend to know all of my information and that friend would call to insure that everything was going all right. She was expecting to hear Mika say a certain phrase that that would not be said in normal conversation. If this phrase was not said the friend knew to call the police and have them come by for a safety check. Below is Mika’s rendition of the events leading up to our first meeting. I felt it might be of interest to the readers to see the same events from the two different perspectives.

My name is Mika, because that is what Master has chosen for it to be.  He has directed me to give my perspective of the events that led to our meeting.

I stumbled on BDSM chat quite by accident.  I often frequented the ‘vanilla’ chat sites in Yahoo, and one day I began chatting with this man.  One question and answer led to another and so on and so one until we got to the subject of bondage.  It was then that he led me to Bondage a Go-Go on Yahoo.  As my mentor he gave me a name and took me to the rooms.  I discovered he was something called Gorean.  Something that seemed to terrify the other submissives in the room but intrigued me.  Totally fascinated and being of a curious nature I started looking into what Gorean was.  I began to understand some of the philosophies but needed to know even more.  I found a chat site called Pow Wow.  It had lots and lots of Goreans who chatted there and quite a few “taverns” to explore.  A person I trusted was on a council of one of the rooms and promised that I could and would learn the Gorean way there if I would accept a tavern collar.  The administrator of that tavern came in and placed a tavern collar on my neck.  And a virtual kef brand was placed on my left thigh.  Viola instant VT (virtual time) kajira.  Well not exactly.  My training was taken over by the Master of the pens and day by day I was required to learn more and more. It was here that I learned Gor was actually a planet, society, philosophy made up and written about by a man named John Norman.  I endeavored to find each of the twenty-five books he wrote.  It was almost like finding needles in haystacks but I finally found my first book “Captive of Gor.”  I read the entire novel in two days.  I cried and laughed and finally felt “home”.   Each day I was drilled in the positions.  I learned the VT serves, the foods and drinks of Gor and even how to VT dance.  I will always be grateful to the strict, harsh Master who led me through my training.  He taught me the heart and belly of a kajira lay within me, I just had to let her out into the light.

Days, weeks, months went by and each day I learned more and more. I had begun speaking with a certain Master more and more and more.  I discovered to my amazement that he made me feel things that none of the other Masters could.  I literally trembled in his presence.  My fingers would shake, as I would try to type out a serve or a response to his questions. 

Things happened and I was taken to another tavern on Pow Wow called the Silver Sirik. There I begged the collar of the Master who I had become very fond of during my training.  He collared me, renamed me and kept me close to him. I strove everyday to be his pride.  I learned each day a new way to please and entice the Master who saw me worthy of his collar.  Soon, I fell in love with him.  I strove even harder to please him.  Each day I would have his VT wine chilled and ready for him, his furs combed and cleaned, and his kajira anxiously awaiting his arrival.  We began discussing a meeting for the many Goreans we had come to know.  All agreed to meet in July in Denver.  I was thrilled.  I was going to finally meet my Master.  Finally meet the man I loved and would submit to face to face finally!  I could hardly wait.

I got a message on my yahoo messenger service one day saying a man I had never met, knew nothing about wanted to add me to his list.  Again being the curious sort, I accepted.  A couple of days later I received a message from this man.  I was thrilled to learn that he was Gorean.  Had been Gorean for a long time and had ACTUALLY read the books!  It was wonderful chatting with him.  Discussing the books, the authors style, the weather, the lack of face to face Gorean meets.  But the scary part was, he was only a couple of hours away.  We talked about my VT relationship with my Master.  And how the VT relationship crossed over into my RT (real time) life.  My VT Master owned me as much RT as he did VT. He knew I loved him deeply.  I was devoted and loyal to my collar. 

Months and months went by.  It was growing closer to time to meet.  I was so anxious.  Suddenly he started showing up less.  Staying a shorter amount of time.  He absences were days sometimes weeks on end.  I messaged him on ICQ, I wrote emails.  I became very confused. I could not figure out what I had done to stop being a joy to him.  I started striving even harder to be found pleasing by him once again.  I would wait and wait and wait for him to appear. 

By this time, I had become close to the Master I chatted with every day on ICQ and asked him what I could be doing wrong.  He told me “sounds like he is married.”  I laughed and said noooooooooo way he is single, I have talked with him on the phone and everything.”  I put aside his words and continued to wait for the Master who owned me.

In March, I got a phone call.  I would have to be in Denver for family member's wedding.  I nearly jumped out of my seat.  I would be close enough to my VT Master to meet him face to face before the July meeting.  I called him to make plans and flew to Denver without ever hearing from him. I discovered during this trip that my Master had deceived me, lied to me and led me on for quite a bit of time.  He had gotten married after he collared me, and was expecting a child.  My whole world came crashing down.  I could not believe he would deceive me in such a manner.  I was devastated.  I wanted the whole world to just stop and let me off.

I continued to talk with the Master on ICQ.  I told him that he had been right and I was a fool.  I pulled away from everyone for a time.  I had to let reality sink in.  I stayed in the tavern and served, waiting for my Master to show up.  Time became my enemy.  He seldom came to the tavern.  Days, sometimes a week would go by before he showed.  Though I belonged to him, I was wilting, dying, losing the ‘slave belly’.  The fire was dying.

Master Michael and I continued to talk via ICQ.  He saw me fading.  Saw my burn begin to fade.  He was so understanding that I was hurting.  He said he did not want to see a kajira flame extinguished. I remember that during this time I received a file from the Master on ICQ, I accepted it and opened it to find a picture of a skeleton key.  It was around this time that we began to discuss the ending of “Captive of Gor”.  And how girls who stroll the high walls that encircle a city often are snatched up by low a flying Tarnsman. 

Eventually we began discussing meeting face to face.  I kind of scoffed.  Thinking yeah right!  He pushed and finally I gave in.  I had never had a D/s experience RT and was scared to death.  I did everything in my power to convince him he did not want to meet with me.  I sent a few pictures of myself making sure he knew what he was in for.  I tried hard to convince him he did not want to meet with this girl.  Not me.

The date was set and we were to meet in a park, with one of my children present. (My safety net so to speak.)  One thing after another happened and things got postponed and delayed and finally we set another date.  One month after the initial meeting was supposed to happen.  By this time we had become more comfortable with each other, more familiar and there was a different level of trust between us.  I asked him if we could just meet at my house.

I called my girlfriend of 15 years and told her I was going to meet with a Master.  She had been in the lifestyle for several years and was concerned for my safety. She and I talked of many ‘signs’ that things aren’t right. After the follow your gut, listen to that little voice talk, she agreed to be my safe call.  She was to call me at a specified time and I was to say a particular phrase that I would never ever say to her during a normal conversation.  If I failed to make that statement she would lead me into it to remind me in case I was really ok and just kind of floating at the time.  If I did not answer the phone, or did not say our agreed upon phrase she would call the police for a well-being check.  And get in her car and drive to the house.  She had all the information she needed to get into my computer (passwords, location of files etc.) which had Master Michael’s picture, phone number, place of employment (I knew both of these were correct as I had called him several times prior to agreeing to meet) and anything that might identify him should there be any trouble.

June 15, 1999 arrived and I was a shaking mess.  I was putting my life in the hands of someone I had never met.  I was about to meet a Gorean Master.  I was about to meet the man I had been chatting on line with and talking on the phone with for so many months.  I was about to experience D/s first hand, RT for the first time in my life.  I had already failed one Gorean Master, what made me think I could please this one?  All I could do was be myself and hope that was enough. 

In my next column I will write about the details of June 15,1999. With the directions I was given I was lucky to have found the house and with a neighbor that visited just as I closed my collar it is an interesting story for sure. In future columns you will learn of the collars she wears and of my brand upon her leg with pictures that will show the healing process. If anyone would like to discuss the Gorean lifestyle please feel free to contact me at Michael@desertvista.com .