by Master Douglas
I belong to a few egroups, including the one for Dom-sub Lifestyle. I enjoy the banter, the discussion, and the revelation discussion can produce. In one such group I had occasion to address a comment to a switch and tacked on the old joke "Do switches Dom themselves?". I am not proud of it as the cleverest thing I had ever written, but it was late. The switch took offense to this joke and shot back something to the effect "What the hell do you mean?".
Normally I would ignore this, but another Dom in the list said something like "Sits back and waits to see what Doug does". This is the type of thing flaming carnage is made of. A switch calling a Dom out and another Dom was egging on the fight. Never one to pass a gauntlet freely thrown from another Dom, I tossed off a piece of sarcasm titled:
*** "Hello, I am Doug and I am a switch bigot. There, I've said it. Nothing confounds me or upsets me more than someone with a power deviance. Sex is just sex, but power is life. I have never met a switch who I didn't consider a submissive.
Oh, I have tried to do the politically correct thing, tried to figure out and "respect" whatever "head space" I was dealing with that day, that instant. But how can someone who cannot make a decision on their power stance make decisions as a dominant? Sure, I know many submissives who Top as an act of pleasing their partners, but these aren't switches. I know several Doms who enjoy pain and find these submissive Tops to serve them, they aren't really switches.
I am not to be hated but pitied. My anti-switch bias must be genetic, my father always hated people who were inconsistent in their power choices too. I do suffer a mild case of the condition [which for the life of me I cannot remember the name of] which makes reading social clues of those around me difficult. A switch demands way too much of my attention to figure out what is going on.
I feel better, now that I am out. Thank-you all.
(tongue firmly in cheek)" ***
The ending, tongue firmly in cheek, was an attempt at a smiley face, I'm kidding, this is a joke sort of thing. The switches were not amused.
In the theme of today's sorry culture titled "My Group the [insert name here]'s are Victims", switches starting whining about their plight. How the lifestyle community discriminates against them. The flame war was on, developing 400+ posts on this and the related topics within 4 days. Several people even believed my satire and found agreement with the idea that identifying the orientation of a switch, at any point in time, was difficult.
The elegant solution:
Since so much of lifestyle is about protocols and ways of dealing with difficult social interactions in a respectful and civilized way I suggest the following rule.
Switches should always be color-coded. A Switch in Dominate headspace shall wear Black or Primary colors only. A switch in submissive headspace shall wear pastels, pinks and sky blues preferred, designating male or female submissive headspace. If they are liable to change orientation midday or mid scene, spare T-shirts could be worn, layered.
What do you think fellow lifestylers???