January/February 2002
Trubled Times

Picture Herefor those times when you're having troubles

by Celeste aka BitaTruble

Dear Bita,
I am a submissive living for the last 3 1/2 years, 24/7 with my Master.  
Recently I have suspected that he has been seeking a new submissive so I have 
done something that I am not proud of.  I hacked into his email and found 
evidence that proved my suspicions correct.  I admitted what I have done to 
him and confronted him about the new submissive.  Let me say upfront that it 
is not in our agreement that he would bring other submissives into our 
relationship without my knowledge and that I would always be allowed to voice 
my opinions and if I didn't feel comfortable with a person he would not bring 
them into a relationship with us.  In this case though, he is claiming that 
he had no intention of bringing this person into our relationship and that, 
along with some other issues, is why he never told me about it. 
I am now to be punished for breaking into his email and invading his privacy. 
To be honest, I think I am more angry with myself than he is.  I feel awful 
for what I did, but at the same time I am angry at him for breaking the 
spirit if not the letter of our agreement.  I feel there were mistakes made 
on both sides and right now I don't think there is anything he can do to me 
that will make me feel worse than I already do.   I don't want my Master to 
engage in activities outside of our relationship and yet I don't want to 
prevent him from doing things that he needs to do to be happy.  I am clueless 
as to what, if anything, I can do or should do.  We have communicated and the 
results are less than satisfactory for, I believe, both of us.  He has agreed 
to drop communication with the other submissive and now I feel as if I am in 
the way of something he needs to do for himself and would if I were not in 
the picture.
Please help.
Contrite and questioning my own submission
Dear contrite,
What you did is prove that you are as untrustworthy as you believed your 
Master to be so don't expect absolution from this quarter.  However, I think 
I understand why you did what you did.  Personally, I do believe that you not 
only deserve punishment, but should expect it.  Believe it or not, that may 
help you in the long run.  Punishment in BDSM is not like other punishments.  
It is not just used for behavior modification. It is also an act of the 
Dominant to forgive their submissive for transgressions and once it is over, 
the transgression is then considered in the past and hopefully a lesson is 
learned so that the same error will not be repeated.  If you do not know what 
topping from the bottom is, this is a perfect example.  You now want to take 
the situation and force your Dominant to do something that he does not, now, 
wish to do.  If he has told you that he wants to stop communication, accept 
that and go on from here.  My strongest advice to you is, if you truly 
respect your Dominant, then respect his privacy as sacred.  There is a reason 
he did not share the information with you and you took it upon yourself to 
take control of a situation which you had no right to do.  That's what 
happens when we tread upon sleeping dragons.  Sometimes they wake up and then 
regret we went there in the first place.
Good luck,
How does it feel to know you are going to hell, sinner?
Theresa Randolf
Well, good morning, Theresa,
I went ahead and used the name you signed with since it doesn't seem to 
bother you to let people know that you were surfing a BDSM website at 2:00 AM 
on a Sunday morning.  I can only surmise that you had nothing better to do.  
Welcome to the dark side.
First of all, you have made an assumption that I believe in hell. Second, you 
have assumed the God role in that you know that I'm going there.  My 
recollection of the bible is that it is not for mere mortals to make the 
determinations of the after life.  All I can say is that whatever is planned 
for my immortal soul, at least I am honest with who and what I am and do not 
judge the actions of others as some do.
Perhaps we will see each other in the hot place.  If you get there first, 
save me a seat.  
Dear Bita,
What are your opinions on Pro-Dommes?
Curious George
Dear George,
I think they are great for those that want to pay to play. However, in my 
world, BDSM is not just about play and if the only experience a person has is 
what they pay for, they are missing out on a whole lot of what BDSM has to 
Cheeks up and happy tails to those that want it, though.  I hear Pro-Dommes 
make a pretty good living.